Tales from THE "DON'T GO THERE" FILE...Superman

The purpose of this feature is to put my own spin on some of life's less savory occurrences.

SUPERMAN BELOW THE SIDEWALKS OF NEW YORK

Today January 3, 2007, we learned of a heroic construction worker in the New York City subway. He saw a man lose his balance (from a seizure) and fall onto the tracks in front of an oncoming train. Without hesitation, the man now being heralded as "Superman," jumped down and grabbed the flailing man. He then shielded the victim with his body while also tucking in all their loose body parts as the train passed over them.

This is a great human interest story, everyone who has read about it , seen the TV reports or heard of it, can't help but feel good. Therefore, you MUST trust me when I say, "I hope I'm wrong...even my mother thinks I'm nuts...but!"

When I first heard this story, I pictured that he saved the man in the big hollow space underneath the platform that has been designed for such emergencies. Perhaps there was no time because I was surprised that the man corralled the victim and pressed him down into the gutter that runs between the tracks.

So I asked myself, "Self, how could he possibly have known they would fit?"

The TV news reported that this narrow channel has a 21 inch clearance from the floor to the under-carriage of the train. So when you consider the girth of the 50 years old savior and the 20 years old victim, great doubt must be placed if two adults could indeed pancake themselves safely there. Plus when you add the fact that the man was having a seizure, straining erratically to get free...it makes the whole affair seem far-fetched, if not staged.

I hope I'm wrong but, I say "Superman" isn't a one in a ten million guy because every other bystander in the world would have recognized the task as impossible.

But it gets better, our good Samaritan wasn't alone, he was with his two little daughters. I'm guessing they were 4 and 5. So our hero left them standing on the platform when he did his thing.
When it was over, the older girl was questioned on TV and said, "I thought my daddy was dead."
I hope I'm wrong but to me, even the way she said it sounded rehearsed.

Plus when the hero was interviewed, he didn't mention having any knowledge of the space down there. Then, he further played on our sensitivities by pointing out the festering dirty water (from god knows what) that they lied in. The camera zoomed in on it and trust me, it was quite disgusting.

And to put the icing on the cake...and AGAIN I hope I'm wrong but ...the victim was white and the hero was black. I know it sounds ultra-cynical but as a 28-year veteran casino worker, I have seen countless scams...even non-casino people might recall such scams from movies. Remember "THE SKIN GAME" with James Garner and Lou Gosset Jr.? They were a black and white con-artist team and because of their different race, their victims never suspect that they were in cahoots.... heck even the epilepsy scam isn't original, it was used in the movie "THE TWELVE CHAIRS."

All I know is, is that a couple of enterprising and acrobatic men could have set this whole thing up. First its a big splash in the press, then they'll hit Oprah's show and the rest of the talk show circuit, a book, a movie deal, and some endorsements...it could be the perfect artificial path to fame, wealth and glory for a couple of regular guys.