THEY USED TO CALL ME MUDCAT

The range of topics that come up while standing dead on a craps table are limitless. One night in 1991, our game was open with no players and the subject was nicknames. One of the dealers, Julio, had been a professional boxer. He was lamenting that he might have had more success, if he had an intimidating nickname.

(STOCK PHOTO) JULIO'S FACIAL SCARS AND PUFFY EYES WERE A CONSTANT, GRIM REMINDER THAT AN ADDED GIMMICK, LIKE A FEROCIOUS NICKNAME COULD ONLY HAVE HELPED HIS PRIZEFIGHTING CAREER.

Our floor supervisor, Jacqueline Kennelly not only listened intently to Julio, but she gave off a vibe that she was attracted to him. At forty, Dublin-born Jacquie was about five years older than the rest of us. Due to her casino rank and boisterous manner, she was frequently open about the joy of being single and her sexual exploits. So when she heard Julio complain about the need for a nickname she said, "When I was a teenager, I was called the 'mouth-piece' so much that my mother thought I wanted to be a lawyer."

Joe Table (another dealer) and I laughed. The boxman Jaime and Julio didn't. They were both Peruvian-Americans who spoke English well but hadn't mastered the subtleties of their adopted language.

Joe was Hispanic too...his real name was Jose Mesa. He was of Puerto Rican descent but his paternal grandparents were third generation Americans and his mom's folks were born in Hammonton New Jersey. Therefore the only Spanish he knew, was whatever he retained from high school or learned from living in community with a high percentage of Latinos.

He said, "My Joe Table nickname is obvious. It started when I was about twelve while picking blueberries," He made a gesture like it was raining by wiggling all his fingers and repeatedly bringing his hands down. To improve our visualization, he added a tinny sound-effect that mimicked berries falling into an empty bucket. "In the field," he continued, "some kid from school who barely spoke English thought he was hurting my feelings when he said to the other Latinos nearby, 'Jose Mesa translated to English means joe table,'...and the name stuck."

Jaime then asked me, "What is your nickname?" I said, "I don't really have one but for a short time in Las Vegas, some people called me Mudcat. It started when I went with a group of Stardust craps dealers, to a catfish restaurant called MUDCAT'S.

We got soused at the bar before getting seated. So when I got the menu that featured Southern specialties, I ordered the same thing that LTJEFF got; fried catfish and stewed okra. Plus, every entree came with a side-order of hush puppies.

IF MEMORY SERVES, CATFISH AREN'T KOSHER BECAUSE THEY ARE, "BOTTOM-FEEDERS." I SAY, IF THEY GET AS BIG AS THE ONE IN THIS PHOTO, THEN THEY CAN EAT ANYWHERE THEY WANT.

Drunk or not, I thought the catfish sucked! If I was sober or had half a brain, I should have ordered shrimp creole, red beans and rice or jambalaya.
JAMBALAYA IS A CAJUN DISH SIMILAR TO PAELLA. IT COMBINES, CHICKEN, SMOKED SAUSAGE AND VARIOUS SEAFOOD WITH CELERY, PEPPERS, ONIONS, RICE, VEGETABLES AND TOMATOES. THE WHOLE POT IS BOILED, SIMMERED AND FINALLY BAKED.

I ordered another Budweiser, ate the hush puppies, suffered through the okra and pushed aside the catfish. My friends scoffed at my lack of "sophistication" and hurled playful insults at me. Then they exaggerated the facts and spread my misfortune around at work. Soon, a narrow band of coworkers called me Mudcat.

At first I thought Mudcat was stupid. But I grew to like it because the name gave me a separate identity from the two other Steve's. Plus it was same nickname of one of my favorite baseball players, Jim Grant.

THE PRIDE OF LACOOCHIE FLORIDA, JIM "MUDCAT' GRANT, (NOW 76 YEARS-OLD), WAS A 14-YEAR MAJOR LEAGUER, (1958-1971), AND A TWO-TIME ALL-STAR. IN 1965, HE WAS THE PITCHING ACE OF THE MINNESOTA TWINS AND LED THEM TO THE WORLD SERIES. ALTHOUGH THE TWINS LOST 4 GAMES TO 3, GRANT WON TWO GAMES, (LOST ONCE) AND EVEN HIT A HOME RUN.

Jacquie Kennelly interrupted my Mudcat story and said, "Now that you mention it, my moniker was 'Jacqueline Kennedy' for a while...it felt like royalty compared to being called a tramp...I loved it." She then stared into Julio's eyes and said, "When you get back into boxing, I know a great nickname that will strike fear into all your opponents." Julio said, "I'm too old to get back into fighting." Jacquie smiled, batted her eyes and said, "That's okay, I like your face just as it is. But how do you say the vulture in Spanish?" When Jaime saw Julio's blank expression he said to him in Spanish that; it's a bird, like a condor. Then Jaime said to us, "the vulture is, el buitre." DIFFERENT CLASSIFICATIONS OF VULTURES ARE FOUND IN THE SOUTHWEST USA, THROUGHOUT LATIN-AMERICA, AFRICA AND IN EUROPE. THE ULTIMATE FLYING SCAVENGER, THEY ARE BEST KNOWN FOR FEASTING ON DEAD CARCASSES.

Joe Table said, "Yeah the word 'wee-tray' sounds like it starts with a 'W.' But it's spelled with a 'B.'" The Hispanicos, Julio, and Jaime cautiously nodded.

Jacquie cut in, "Hey Julio, from now on, I'm going to call you 'The Vulture.'" Julio shrugged, "Why? I'm not getting back in the ring" She said, "Because I want to play the vulture game with you?" "Vulture game?" he said, "What's the vulture game?" Jacquie said, "It's fun and easy...I play dead and you drag me back to your man-cave...and eat me."

Julio's nickname instantly became "Wee-Tray" or "The Vulture." It remained in our clique long after both he and Jacquie left the casino, (separately) for better jobs. Even now, whenever we refer to Julio, we call him, "The Vulture."

The vulture incident also created a new nickname for me. Those Latinos sarcastically played-off my nonexistent, cat-like reflexes as a craps dealer and shortened Mudcat to, "The Cat." Then, they translated it into Spanish. So to this day, (twenty years later), Joe Table, Jaime as well as BADLANDS and JS, still call me, "El Gato,"...and I love it!