JOE GARAGIOLA vs THE STYROFOAM SPITTOON

Joe Garagiola died March 23, 2016. Today's offering isn't intended to be s a eulogy, it should be looked upon as a celebration of an unsung champion.

JOE GARAGIOLA (1926-2016) WAS A WORLD CHAMPION, IN HIS ROOKIE SEASON (1946) WITH THE ST. LOUIS CARDINALS.  DURING THE WORLD SERIES, HE SHOWED GREAT PROMISE AND BATTED .316.  HOWEVER THE REMAINDER OF HIS NINE-YEAR CAREER THAT INCLUDED STINTS WITH THE PIRATES, CUBS AND GIANTS, CAN BEST BE DESCRIBED AS MEDIOCRE.

Garagiola possessed the gift of gab and was famous for self-facing humor.  He liked to call catcher's equipment (seen above) as; "the tools of ignorance." In reference to his marginal skills as a major league baseball player, he related this anecdote about growing up with future Hall-of-Famer Yogi Berra, "Not only was I not the best catcher in majors but I wasn't even the best catcher on my street."

In his early years in St. Louis, Garagiola said to Stan Musial (an elite among the best hitters in baseball history), "I had a great day today.  I woke up to a beautiful morning, made love to my wife and ate a great breakfast.  On my way to the park, I made every traffic light.  Then I got two hits including a homer and...we won.  Stan, did you ever have a day like that?"  Musial said, "I have a day like that...every day."

Garagiola retired from baseball after the 1954 season.  He then used his outward personality and glib humor to land a career in broadcasting.  I best remember him as an analyst on NBC's baseball game of the week. But he reached champion status and national prominence when he became a regular on TV's, "THE TODAY SHOW."  Beyond that he appeared on several other shows either as a host or a guest...as well as being a celebrity panelist on game shows.

Behind the scenes, Joe Garagiola's true champion caliber was developed as an anti-chewing tobacco advocate.  Joe had been a user until the mid-1950's.  He realized the health risks and quit cold turkey. When few people were stepping forward, Garagiola organized some major leaguers who had suffered the effects of this addiction.  Then voluntarily, each year, they visited major league spring training facilities, (as early the late-1950's).

BEFORE THE HARMFUL EFFECTS OF THIS CANCER-CAUSING POISON WAS WELL-KNOWN, ADS LIKE THIS (1955) WERE USED TO SELL INDIVIDUALS ON IT CALMING EFFECTS.

Garagiola used his personality and humor to get his foot in the door.  A big point of his "scared straight" type lectures was to say, "If you have lung cancer, (from conventional smoking), you die of lung cancer.  But with oral cancer (from smokeless tobacco), you die one body part at a time...they operate on your neck, your jaw, your throat etc."

In my pre-pubescence, I recall so many baseball cards (1950's and 60's), where the players like; Fox (above), Bill Tuttle and Rocky Bridges proudly posed with a wad of this murderous crap in their cheek.

LIKE MANY OF HIS PEERS, DON ZIMMER THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED WHILE USING IT.

Somehow the dangerous message never got universally accepted.  So while you might remember the premature death of Hall-of Famer Nellie Fox, others users made a far less powerful case. Nevertheless, the  problem is ongoing and its continued use is still strong.

CONTEMPORARY USERS AND ABUSERS OF THIS DISGUSTING AND LIFE-THREATENING HABIT REPRESENT A WHO'S WHO OF BASEBALL.  SOMEONE LIKE CURT SHILLING CREDITS GARAGIOLA FOR SAVING HIS LIFE.  HOWEVER, TONY GWYNN AS GREAT AND POPULAR AS HE WAS, DIED WAY BEFORE HIS TIME.  

Despite the uphill battle, Garagiola fought well-up into his eighties.  He took information from a George Vecsey article from May 29, 2010 that sighted the Center For Disease Control's finding that there's a link between oral cancer brought on by the use of smokeless tobacco, to pancreatic cancer and heart disease.

Later, Garagiola spoke against smokeless tobacco lobbyist at congressional hearings,. To paraphrase his rebuttal that chewing tobacco is a safe alternative to smoking he said; It's like jumping out a 25th floor window instead of from the 50th.

Unfortunately, the anti-smokeless tobacco culture is clouded.  Kids chewing tobacco is shown in movies like 1993's, "SANDLOT." Plus, products like the shredded bubblegum, "BIG LEAGUE CHEW" can enable youngsters to emulate their ball playing heroes.

IN 1980, FORMER MAJOR-LEAGUER AND AUTHOR JIM BOUTON INVENTED THIS SUGARY, KID-FRIENDLY GATEWAY TO CHEWING TOBACCO. 

Joe Garagiola's mission perseveres.  Today, there are bans against smokeless tobacco in the majors and minor leagues.  Still, users find ways to circumvent these rules.  Hopefully, at the high school level enforcement can pave the way to change the culture in order to eliminate this highly addictive habit.

THE STAGGERING TRUTH ABOUT SMOKELESS TOBACCO IS, IT'S NOT LIMITED TO BASEBALL, ETHNICITY, AGE OR EVEN GENDER.

I hope Joe Garagiola wasn't just spitting into the wind. To me, he was a hero and truly a head of his time.  But sometimes people need visual evidence.

"SKOAL BROTHER!"  JUST A PINCH BETWEEN WHERE YOUR CHEEK AND GUM WERE...THE "LUCKY" VICTIMS GET AWAY WITH JUST BEING DISFIGURED.

I see far too much Skoal-like products in use, on my job.  I can't possibly explain how disgusting it is to watch people use a Styrofoam cup or an empty beer bottle as a spittoon. While my sarcastic supervisors say; just look away.  I remind them that they can not only look away but walk away as well. Even less sophisticated coworkers might call it the lesser of two evils when compared with getting inundated by secondhand smoke.  The reality is, the whole practice shouldn't be permitted in public due to sanitary issues.  However, in casinos where it could be used to distract the staff who are protecting high volumes of money.

This is not a simple thing that you can merely divert your eyes from...like rubberneckers going by a car wreck...your eye keeps stealing looks at the spittle.  On a rare occasion, a drunk or careless jerk allows the overage (minute flecks) to fall onto the gaming table.  That constant reminder is bad enough...but it's a million times worse and far too frequent that the brown slime drips down the side of the cup.

I pity the unsuspecting clean-up person who touches a Styrofoam spittoon.  It's so nauseating that someone with an iron-clad stomach would want to wretch. AND...AND...AND, if you have the misfortune of touching anything even remotely damp when witnessing this apex of awfulness...it becomes a miracle that you don't projectile vomit on your abuser.

I mourn the death of Joe Garagiola.  He was a champion of baseball, broadcasting and the common sense behind the anti-smokeless tobacco movement.

In his passing, I hope that Joe Garagiola will rest in peace and that the torch of his anti-smokeless tobacco campaign will gain momentum.  Maybe in the near future, he can become like Vincent Van Gogh  when the depth of his life-long struggle is fulfilled and appreciated.  It's just a shame when the great ones are only immortalized when they are gone.

FOUND AND LOST; MICHAEL CLARKE DUNCAN

I can’t believe it’s the second anniversary of the TV show, “THE FINDER,” getting cancelled. Most people never heard of it but I loyally watched all thirteen installments until it vanished as quickly as it appeared.

"THE FINDER" STARRING GEOFF STULTS (left) AND MICHAEL CLARKE DUNCAN (right) LASTED ONE SEASON, (JANUARY 12, 2012 TO MAY 11, 2012).

In 2011, the premise was originally wrapped within, “THE FINDER” episode of another personal favorite, “BONES.” The writers and producers came up with a unique, slick and beautiful to look at concept, (filmed in Miami with gorgeous underwater photography). The supporting characters were interesting and the storylines coming from their relationships left me wanting more.

"BONES" NOW IN ITS EIGHTH SEASON, INTRODUCED, "THE FINDER" ON APRIL 21, 2011, (SEASON SIX, EPISODE NINETEEN, SHOW #125 IN THE SERIES).

"THE FINDER'S," star, Geoff Stults as Walter Sherman, is a retired army major.  The gimmick is, he suffered some mysterious level of combat-related brain damage while serving in Iraq. These head injuries left him suspicious and paranoid. But along the way, his “problems” also include a mystical ability to see patterns that nobody else can see. He uses these universal connections to find things. In the case of the episode of, “BONES,” he is subcontracted out by the FBI, to launch an independent investigation, to find a stolen treasure map fragment. Throw in some intelligent quirkiness and you have a program that is exciting and fun to watch.

This, possibly best-ever episode of “BONES” became the pilot for, “THE FINDER.” I thought I got in on the ground floor of something special. I was completely invested in the show and never missed it. Unfortunately that pilot was also the problem because the potential of the first production was never recaptured.

In an obscure bar in the Florida keys, the audience is introduced to the three main characters of, “THE FINDER.” The "MOD SQUAD-like" trio are staring at a chalkboard and having a philosophical debate on which is sadder; a twelve-year old girl smoking or a drowned cat.

TV's, "MOD SQUAD" WAS A HIPPIE, UNDERCOVER POLICE TEAM THAT FEATURED A WHITE MAN, WHITE WOMAN AND A BLACK MAN.  THE SHOW LASTED FIVE SEASONS AND 123 EPISODES FROM 1968-1973.

Ike, is Walter Sherman’s shapely but tough, Scottish accented female sidekick. Apparently, Ike owes her life to, “The Finder.” But instead of being a corny love interest, she was more like his conscious and emotional protector while also serving as his bartender, airplane pilot and a walking encyclopedia. Unfortunately, her character was dumped after the pilot episode in favor of a cardboard detective/love interest, (so much for uniqueness).

Luckily my favorite character was not dropped by the show. Michael Clarke Duncan plays male sidekick Leo Knox, (a likeable, Buddha-spouting widower and former attorney). He also owes his life to Sherman and serves as his confidant, manager, legal advisor and bodyguard. I became transfixed with every baritone word and action he made. I especially liked his use of lawyer-speak when advising Sherman not to do something. Which gave rise to The Finder’s catchphrase; I’ll risk it, (which was cleverly used in the pilot but rarely called upon throughout the show’s short run).

Another character that never appeared after the pilot was the Catholic bishop. Dynamic anti-religious sparks fly when Walter asks the Bishop for historical data about the church's connection with the map piece that might lead to a sunken Spanish gold galleon. Apparently the Bishop owes Walter his faith therefore he is patient with the anthesist's impertinence. To be consistent with the show's demise, the non-religious aspects The Finder’s nature is never mentioned again.

It didn’t take long until I became disillusioned by, “THE FINDER’S”, direction. I only watched in hope that it might rediscover the magic of the pilot, and if it couldn’t, watching Duncan was enough for me.

I first found Michael Clarke Duncan in 1999’s, “THE GREEN MILE.” He gave a memorable performance as John Coffey, a Depression-era, wrongly convicted child murderer, on death row in Louisiana. It’s ironic, that role catapulted his career in film, TV and voice-overs in animated features. But he was lost to me for more than ten years because I was unfamiliar with any of his work until, “THE FINDER” episode of, “BONES.”

MICHAEL CLARKE DUNCAN (1957-2012), HAD KNOCKED AROUND HOLLYWOOD GETTING ODD JOBS THAT INCLUDED HIGH-PROFILE BODYGUARD WORK.  HE STARTED DOING COMMERCIALS AND BIT ACTING PARTS UNTIL HIS BIG BREAK IN,"THE GREEN MILE."

I may not know which is sadder, a twelve-year old girl smoking or a drowned cat. But I do know I was deeply saddened by Michael Clarke Duncan’s untimely heart attack and death. Which I assume was only a coincidence because it came shortly after the Fox Network announced that “THE FINDER” was cancelled.

Duncan led a clean life, was a vegetarian and lived many of the precepts of Buddhism. The Finder served its calling when it found Duncan for me but alas, now they are both gone...

IN A CRAZY MAN-CRUSH KIND OF WAY, I MISS DUNCAN.  IN THE TWO ROLES I KNOW HIM FROM, HE WAS DEEP, INTELLIGENT AND MADE ME FEEL THAT THE PEOPLE AROUND HIM WERE SAFE.  WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT IT, I CAN'T STAND LOSING HIM. 

Michael Clarke Duncan's passing makes me think of the 1979, chart-topping song by the, "POLICE," "I CAN'T STAND LOSING YOU."  Click on the link below to hear the thought provoking lyrics.
http://search.mywebsearch.com/mywebsearch/redirect.jhtml?action=pick&qs=&pr=GG&searchfor=youtube+the+police+I+can%27t+stand+losing+you&cb=CD&p2=%5ECD%5Exdm003%5ES04317%5Eus&n=77fc41c7&qid=825087a8ef484cbfbe4484f82295acff&ptb=D6B92608-79BD-4909-92A0-160CFD832118&si=CKuH4unForUCFQPd4AodLCEADg&pg=GGmain&ots=1407692347187&pn=1&ss=sub&st=bar&tpr=sc&redirect=mPWsrdz9heamc8iHEhldEcgdjfjqpMajKYmz288FhTLdjzyG8DEAy6s%2BGyLAMdxQJj8lG1xD4KFm32d%2F1k%2BwmQ%3D%3D&ord=0&ct=AR&


I found Michael Clarke Duncan (again) but now he's lost for good.  Unfortunately, the best way to remember him is not through, "THE FINDER." series.  That's why I'm recommending you watch the single “BONES” episode with him.

THE CRIME SOLVING LOLLIPOP SUCKER

Lucky me! Lucky everyone my age with Comcast as their cable provider because we've all been recently “hooked-up” with Channel-Two, the classic-TV station, ME-TV, (Memorable Entertainment-TV). Unlike other networks with similar programming, (i.e. TV LAND), ME-TV broadcasts a wide variety of shows I haven’t seen in ages.

I also have a DVR which allows me to automatically tape the shows I like even if they are on at weird times. I also recognize that it has become popular for my son Andrew's generation to “binge watch” every show in a given series, in sequence…but I prefer to see my old favs, one at a time, a couple of times a week...in no particular order.

ME-TV has reintroduced me to the “HONEYMOONERS.” After a twenty-year absence, I still know all the lines and laugh out loud, (even when I’m alone). I also have been reunited with the “ODD COUPLE” and “PERRY MASON” as well as ten or so of my go-to gems from the past.

Unfortunately, the network is always tweaking their schedule and three of my comfort-zone shows have already been discontinued like, “COMBAT!,” “HAVE GUN WILL TRAVEL” and “KOJAK.”

I was comparing disappointments over the discontinued shows with Billy from Filly (BFF) and our conversation veered slightly off course to the star of Kojak, Telly Savalas.

ARISTOTELIS "TELLY" SAVALAS (1922-1994) WAS A GIANT IN TV AND MOVIE ACTING. WHILE HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN TYPECAST AS A VLLAIN OR FLAWED HERO, HE WAS EQUALLY AT HOME IN SENSITIVE, COMEDIC AND/OR LESS DANGEROUS ROLES.

In the 1950’s and '60’s, Telly Savalas did over fifty guest appearances on many of my favorite classic TV shows like, "NAKED CITY,” “THE UNTOUCHABLES,” “COMBAT!,” “THE FUGITIVE,” “BONANZA,” “THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.” and “THE F.B.I.” He also had a recurring role in, “77 SUNSET STRIP” as Brother Hendricksen. But BFF and I agreed that his most memorable early TV role was in the 1963, “TWILIGHT ZONE,” episode called, “LIVING DOLL.”

IN THIS AMAZINGLY HAUNTING EPISODE, INDIFFERENT AND PERHAPS MENTALLY IMBALANCED SAVALAS RUNS AFOUL OF HIS STEP-DAUGHTER'S HOMICIDAL, "TALKY TINA DOLL."  TRIVIA TIME, (above), NOTE SAVALAS' TYPICAL MALE PATTERN BALDNESS.  THIS SHOW WAS TWO YEARS BEFORE HE DECIDED TO REGULARLY SHAVE HIS HEAD. A BETTER PIECE OF INSIGNIFICANCE IS, THE VOICE-OVER FOR THE TALKY TINA DOLL, WAS JUNE FORAY, BETTER KNOWN AS THE CARTOON VOICE OF ROCKY THE FLYING SQUIRREL.

BFF was surprised when I said that I haven’t seen “Living Doll” in about thirty years. He was crushed when I said, “Most ‘Twilight Zones' are so dated, they are unwatchable.” He said, “But you can just look ahead and tape the ones you want to see.” “Yes that's true,” I said, “But like fine wine, the longer you wait between having it, the better it tastes.” He said, “Yeah but…” I cut him off, “If I ate buckwheat pancakes for breakfast and clams everyday for lunch and dinner…in a short time, they wouldn’t be special.” He said, “You accidentally said clams for lunch AND dinner.” I said, “It was no accident, I really love clams.”

Telly Savalas made many movies too. The ones I recall include 1962’s, “THE BIRDMAN OF ALACATRAZ” and “CAPE FEAR.”

SAVALAS (left) AS CONVICT FETO GOMEZ, A SADISIC KILLER TURNED SYMPATHETIC BIRD LOVER, (HE WAS IN THE NEXT CELL FROM HEADLINER, BURT LANCASTER).

I also remember Savalas from 1965’s, “THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD."

AS PONTIUS PILATE IN "THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD," SAVALAS DECIDED (AFTERWARDS), TO KEEP HIS HEAD PERMANENTLY SHAVED.  THIS DECISION PROVIDED HIM AN ENDURING, TRADEMARK LOOK. 

Savalas profited by the abundance of World War II movies at that time. 

IN 1965's, "BATTLE OF THE BULGE," HE SHOWED HIS RANGE AS AN UNLIKELY LADY'S MAN, SERGEANT GUFFY, (A HEROIC, SHELL-SHOCKED TANK COMMANDER WITH A TALENT FOR BEING A BLACK-MARKETEER).

In 1967, he made audiences cringe with his portrayal of psychotic Archer Maggot in, “THE DIRTY DOZEN.” Then in 1970 he showed his comedic side in, “KELLY’S HEROES.”

"KELLY'S HEROES," WAS A WWII FARCE.  IN IT, SAVALAS CONTRIVES WITH CLINT EASTWOOD (left) AND A SMALL BAND OF GONIFFS, TO STEAL GOLD FROM A HEAVILY GUARDED NAZI BANK.

Into the early 1970's, despite Savalas’ impressive screen credits, he was far from the international superstar that he would soon become. The key to his eventual success was landing the starring role in a 1973, CBS made for TV movie called, “THE MARCUS NELSON MURDERS.” In it, he played hard-boiled police detective Theo Kojack, (the spelling of his surname would soon change to the one we are familiar with after this movie became the pilot episode of “KOJAK.")

Telly Savalas as “KOJAK” would become a pop culture icon. The show enjoyed a five-season run that included 118 episodes. Soon his shaved head made bald sexy, (a decade before anyone ever heard of Michael Jordan). Plus, his signature statement lollipop as well as catchphrases like, “Who loves ya, baby?,” helped earn him an Emmy, a Golden Globe and a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. In 1996, TV GUIDE named Savalas, #33 on their All-Time Greatest TV Actors list.

A couple of days after my chat with BFF, I told him that I was researching a blog about Savalas. He said, “When I dealt craps at the Tropicana Casino, I saw him playing blackjack...but heard he was high-maintainence and a stiff.” I shrugged, “Yeah it sucks when celebrities are shitty tippers." Then I added, “I never saw Savalas or heard anything about him in casinos...but now that I think about it, I have an odd-ball story that indirectly deals with Savalas…as Kojak."

In August 1978, to pay my New York School of Gambling tuition, I became a cab driver for a car service in my hometown. Once the "glamor" of seeing the ground through gaps in the floorboards wore thin or thinking it was cool to drag my tailpipe or having car parts fall off the heap that I used as a taxi, I realized I was driving a death trap.  Even worse, many of the other cabbies were ex-criminals and/or major druggies and still worse, the company’s shady managers included rather organized, characters too. All that negativity was compounded by regular horror stories about my fellow drivers getting robbed and threatened. If that wasn't enough, a friend was nearly victimized by a passenger who tried to push him out of the speeding taxi, on the Belt Parkway.

In early October, a friend (another driver) was propositioned by management to fly to North Carolina and drive a van back to Connecticut. When my buddy said, “What’s in the van?” The boss called him, “A fuckin’ wise guy” and fired him.

Two days later, I didn't ask questions when I was sent on a wild goose chase to pick up a package at 12:30AM. My ordeal (without proper directions) continued till 3:00AM, on a bombed-out looking street, in the industrial district, (bordering Newark Airport).  The grand finale of my stressful escapade, (I'll use the full story for another blog) included me knocking on a warehouse door and saying, "Joe Fruit sent me." Then without the door opening, I received a light (in weight) packet from a faceless hand through a speakeasy-type peep hole.  This experience and the nonsense I had to put up with along the way was so harrowing that I quit the next day.

A month earlier, at about 7:00PM, (in broad daylight), the stage was set for me to see that this, "making my way through casino dealer school job," wasn't for me.  That's when I picked up a fare in Canarsie’s east 80’s. These two girls, around twenty, were very pretty. I found out that they spoke broken English when they got in. The blond said, “We go Madison Square Garden.” When I asked where they were from the brunette said, “I’m from Yugoslavia, she’s a Czech.” A block and a half later, I made a left onto Flatlands Avenue and coasted to a red light diagonally across from Bildersee Junior High School.

In the opposite direction, a man about my age in a Mercedes Benz stopped at the light. Suddenly, a late-model maroon Chevy Impala, swerved around him and stopped while blocking his path. Two goons rushed out and started arguing with the first guy. When the driver of the Impala punched the Mercedes driver, the bloodied man threw his car in reverse, shifted gears and floored it going forward. While he sped away, the goons pulled concealed pistols from the front of their pants and fired three or four shots each (apparently missing their target). They jumped in their car, burnt rubber making a wild U-Turn right in front of me and frantically made their get-away.

The two girls were screaming hysterically. I didn’t know what to do. Instinctively, I turned to face them and calmly said, “It’s for TV…It’s ‘Kojak.’” The girls relaxed and smiled as they nodded in unison, “Kojak.” They resumed a quiet conversation in a language I couldn’t understand for the rest of the hour-long trip.

BFF said, “I don’t believe you.” I said, “You should. I even pulled over right away and called my dispatcher from a pay phone…and he said, “Fuhgeddaboudit!”

I told you I was lucky, lucky I quit driving a cab before the shit really hit the fan.

SET NEIL ASIDE, FORGET LANCE AND LET'S CONCENTRATE ON LOUIS...ARMSTRONG

Today's blog was inspired by a piece of an interview I heard on NPR radio, (WHYY, 89.1AM, here in South Jersey).  The  program called was, "AMERICAN ROOTS,"  and this episode was concerned with the golden age of riverboats on the Mississippi River, as well as jazz and the city of New Orleans.

Its hard to believe that it's been eight years since my son Andrew has been a fifth grader, at the Reeds Road Elementary School .  But one special assignment called, "THE VIRTUAL HISTORY MUSEUM," makes 2005 eternally stand-out for me.

I don't know how widespread this clever virtual museum idea is or who gets credit for originated it.  All I know is...that each student in the entire grade, picked a prominent person to research and do a written report on.  At the end of March, the gymnasium was then closed and converted into a "virtual" museum with each student at their own station, presenting/acting/performing as their selected individual.

THE ENTIRE REEDS ROAD SCHOOL EXPERIENCE WAS EXCELLENT.  MY WIFE SUE AND I WERE ACTIVE IN SCHOOL FUNCTIONS AND TWICE, I DONNED THE "BUBBA THE BULLDOG" COSTUME AND GREETED THE INCOMING BUSES AFTER THE WINTER BREAK.

At different times throughout the Virtual Museum day, the other grades were permitted in to wander through and see, the mostly eleven-year students portray presidents, inventors, performers, sports figures, geniuses etc.  After the school population had their chance, the parents were allowed in.

This enthusiasm displayed by the participants made this educational tool both enriching and fun. My memories are so strong that I still remember Andrew's friends as Harry Houdini, Henry Aaron,  Audrey Hepburn, Frank Lloyd Wright, Muhammad Ali and a conglomeration of four mop-tops as the Beatles.

Andrew did his project as Sir Charles Spencer Chaplin, (1889-1977)...better known as Charlie Chaplin.  While researching this British master comedian and film maker of the silent era, Andrew pulled away the layers of Chaplin's depth and I learned the roots of his "sad clown" persona, the political controversy and his self-imposed exile to Switzerland. 

Chaplin channeled a forlorn early existence to forge a great rags to riches story.  Charlie's childhood was wrought with poverty and child-parent separation which led to him being institutionalized, due to his mother's emotional/mental issues and an abusive father.  Chaplin once said, "It is paradoxical that tragedy stimulates the spirit of ridicule...ridicule, I suppose, is an attitude of defiance; we must laugh in the face of our helplessness against the forces of nature - or go insane."

CHAPLIN IS MOST FAMOUS FOR SLAPSTICK AND HIS "TRAMP" CHARACTER.  IN 1919, ALONG WITH FOUR-YEAR OLD JACKIE COOGAN (UNCLE FESTER) CHAPLIN COMBINED HIS HUMOR WITH SOCIAL COMMENTARY IN "THE KID."  THIS MOVIE HELPED GUIDE CHAPLIN TO A HIGHER FILM MAKING PLATEAU THAT SOLIDIFIED HIS GREATNESS FOREVER.

Andrew picked up the Chaplin mannerisms well and with mom's assistance, pulled off the wardrobe too.

ANDREW TOLD HIS VISITORS OF CHARLIE CHAPLIN'S MOST FAMOUS COMEDIC ACCOMPLISHMENTS,  BUT ALSO REMINDED THEM OF THE MAN'S TORTURED INNER SOUL WHICH WAS APPARENT WHEN HE WROTE THE SONG "SMILE" THAT WAS POPULARIZED IN THE 1950's, BY NAT KING COLE. 

Another historical figure included that day was astronaut Neil Armstrong.  Between 2005 and now, cyclist/humanitarian Lance Armstrong was portrayed several times, (before he disgraced himself by admitting that he lied about doping).  Still another Armstrong...and my favorite...Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong was performed that day by one of Andew's friends.

LOUIS ARMSTRONG (1901-1971) WAS A JAZZ TRUMPETER AND SINGER FROM NEW ORLEANS.  HE IS RENOWN FOR HIS GRAVELLY, INSTANTLY RECOGNIZABLE VOICE.  HE DEMONSTRATED HIS GREAT DEXTERITY AS AN IMPROVISER FOR EXPRESSIVE PURPOSES AS WELL AS AN INVENTIVE, CHARISMATIC STYLE THAT INCLUDED "SCATTING," (USING SOUNDS AND SYLLABLES INSTEAD OF ACTUAL LYRICS).

Louis Armstrong had a difficult childhood.  Like Charlie Chaplin, he left a broken home and lived, off and on, on the streets before rising to the height of success.  Armstrong was first introduced to music at the Fisk School for Boys.  In 1907, he was kicked out.  Later, he got odd jobs from a junk hauler named Karnofsky.  The family took him in and treated him like one of their own. Eventually he was back on the streets until destiny landed him in the New Orleans Home For Colored Waifs. With the "home" band, Armstrong learned to sharpen his appreciation for music.  At thirteen after a run-in with the law, his storied career started on street corners performing and hoping for pennies. His career as a musician emerged on Mississippi Riverboats.  That's where he received a wider exposure to written arrangements or as he called it, "going to a university." 

BEGINNING IN 1831, STEAM POWERED RIVERBOATS (PADDLE WHEELERS) PLAYED A MAJOR ROLE IN TRANSPORTING GOODS AND PEOPLE ON THE MISSISSIPPI FROM THE GULF OF MEXICO TO THE CANADIAN BORDER.  SOON THIS CONCEPT BLOSSOMED TO INCLUDE LUXURY ACCOMMODATIONS AND ENTERTAINMENT IN THESE FLOATING THEATERS,  "SHOWBOATS."


The gentleman being interviewed on NPR said he'd been working on the Mississippi River since 1950.  When he started, he knew riverboat captains that had been working there since the 1880's.  Whenever the old timers started talking about the great performers, Louis (Louie) Armstrong was always the first one they mentioned.  He added that when Armstrong was first brought on the boats, he accepted $23.92/month as pay but only if they bought him a used cornet for sixteen dollars.

In the early 1920's, Armstrong "graduated" to the epicenter of the jazz world, Chicago.  Somewhere along the line there, he earned his complimentary nickname "Satchelmouth" because when he sang, his mouth was as big as a satchel.  Soon it was shortened to "Satch" or "Satchmo."

He moved to New York City and his career continued to skyrocket. In 1949, Armstrong became the first jazz musician to appear on the cover of, "TIME MAGAZINE."

ARMSTRONG'S INFECTIOUS SMILE MADE HIM ONE OF THE MOST RECOGNIZABLE PEOPLE ON EARTH.

By the 1950's, Armstrong rose to become one of the first truly popular black entertainers whose skin-color was secondary to his music and personality...at a time when America was severely racially divided. 

Armstrong rarely politicized his race, often to the dismay of his fellow blacks. He did however take a well-publicized stand for desegregation during the Little Rock Crisis. 

SEPTEMBER 1957, THE "LITTLE ROCK NINE," ARE ESCORTED INTO LITTLE ROCK CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL BY THE AIRBORNE DIVISION OF THE US ARMY.

In the turbulent 1960's, Armstrong received harsh criticism for not taking an even stronger stance on the racial equality movement.  But in his own way, through artistry and personality, he opened up previously unheard of doors to the upper echelons of society for future generations...not only for blacks but for all people regardless of race, economic status or religion.

In 1964 his recording of, "HELLO DOLLY," became his  greatest commercial hit.  It was so universally loved that it rose to #1 on the pop-chart.  Interestingly, Armstrong was sixty-three years old at the time and he became the oldest performer to accomplish this feat, (which has never been equalled).  Even more impressive, he did it by dislodging the Beatles who owned the number-one spot with a run of fourteen straight weeks, (with three different songs).

The list of prominent musicians that Armstrong played with or inspired is too long to list as well as his musical credits and awards.

IN ADDITION TO THE OBVIOUS, ARMSTRONG, OUT OF RESPECT OF HIS "ADOPTIVE" PARENTS, STARTED THE "KARNOFSKY PROJECT," IN NEW ORLEANS.  THIS NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION IS DEDICATED TO ACCEPTING DONATED MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS, "TO PUT THEM IN THE HANDS OF EAGER CHILDREN WHO COULD NOT OTHERWISE TAKE PART IN A WONDERFUL LEARNING EXPERIENCE."

Louie Armstrong, was still an active performer when died a month short of his seventieth birthday, in Corona Queens New York, (near the tennis stadium that now bears his name).  The honorary pallbearers at his funeral included some of the biggest names in show business like; Bing Crosby, Ella Fitzgerald, Dizzy Gillespie, Pearl Bailey, Count Basie, Frank Sinatra, Ed Sullivan and Johnny Carson...with Peggy Lee delivering, the "LORD'S PRAYER" and Al Hibbler singing, "NOBODY KNOWS THE TROUBLE I'VE SEEN."

During the Virtual History Museum, several of the students used a multi-media presentation to help get their message across.  The kid who portrayed Louie Armstrong forever etched that memorable moment for me by including a touching tribute with the 1968 hit, "WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD," on a continuous audio loop.  Click on the link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2VCwBzGdPM

I can picture Louie Armstrong, throwing all his energy into his craft, mopping the perspiration off his brow and finishing with his famous, "Ohhh...yeah."

PEE-WEE'S GUILTY PLEASURE

Whether you like Larry Flynt or not... or agree with his views, it's hard to argue with his logic on this, "What is more obscene: Sex or war?"

PORNOGRAPHER LARRY FLYNT (1942-PRESENT) HAS TESTED THE FIRST AMENDMENT MANY TIMES AND WON.  WHAT HAD BEEN LABELED AS OUTLANDISH PERVERSIONS OF FREE SPEECH, EARNED HIM AN ASSASSIN'S BULLET THAT HAS LEFT HIM PARALYZED FROM THE WAIST DOWN SINCE 1978.

With that in mind, I've done some things that I'm not proud of.  So when I share one of those taboos with you, it shouldn't be viewed as bragging...I'm just reporting the news.

In 1977, my friend Harry became a projectionist at the Regis Cinema.  This "adult" theater was located near Downtown Brooklyn, in a tough neighborhood, slightly off the beaten track of the bustling business district.

The titillating subject matter got old quickly to Harry.  What was important was, he had a full-time gig, made great money, had a short commute from Canarsie and no pressure.  He set-up his "office" with a chaise lounge, an eight-inch black and white TV, a stocked mini-refrigerator and a library of reading material.  He was also clever enough to park in the same spot by a vacant lot each day, so he could utilize the one small projection booth window, to check on his pride and joy; an all black, 1976 Chevy Blazer.

THE BLAZER WAS ONE OF THE EARLIEST  SUV's.  HARRY WASHED AND WAXED THIS GUILTY PLEASURE AS IF IT WAS A STATUS SYMBOL, LIKE A  LUXURY SPORTS CAR  IN THE 70's, BLAZERS WERE RARE IN NEW YORK CITY BECAUSE THEIR FOUR-WHEEL DRIVE WAS ADVERTISED FOR OUTDOORSMEN TRAVERSING BLIZZARD CONDITIONS IN THE ROCKIES, GOING OFF-ROAD IN THE BAJA PENINSULA OR TREKKING THROUGH MUD IN THE EVERGLADES. 

Harry gave an open invitation to his inner circle of friends to come by the theater, to keep him company.  My first visit happened when I accompanied another friend to the DMV on Schermerhorn Street.  The ordeal of waiting in line took two and a half hours.  After, we were mentally and physically exhausted so we sought our own guilty pleasure, the first Hagen Daz in the city, (on Montague Street).

On our way home, we passed the Regis Cinema and decided to see if Harry was there.  Under the huge, old fashioned marquee, we approached the ticket booth.  Inside, we found a sixty-year old, gum cracking, peroxide blond lighting up a Chesterfield.  She put on the Cat Woman glasses that were dangling around her neck by a string of fake pearls to leer at us and croak, "How many?"  My friend stammered, "I-i-is Harry working today?"  She pressed down on the intercom and barked, "Harry, come down."

Harry arrived wearing a white dress shirt, black slacks, Oxford shoes, a raspberry bow-tie and a matching sports jacket. He thanked Madge and complimented her puffy fright-wig hairdo before escorting us in.  I noticed a black sheet covered the candy counter before we were taken up to his roost.  The two-minute guided tour of his claustrophobic work space included an explanation of the equipment.  Then my other friend and I watched the "film" through the little boxy cut-outs in the wall as Harry tore off his shoes, jacket and tie and returned to watching a "PERRY MASON" rerun.

When I got bored of the movie, Harry and I chatted.  He told me that sometimes, he goes downstairs with a flashlight just to piss-off the customers who are pleasuring themselves.  Harry added, "The one's who want a little privacy put a jacket or something on their lap.  Of course, we also have Stella Lugosi down there too...for guys willing to pay..."  I interrupted, "There's a prostitute here and you know her name?"  "Actually I don't," he said, "I made up Stella Lugosi because she's so ugly that it looks like after she kissed the bullet train, she came in second in an acid fight."  When I smirked he continued, "Well guess what...a lot of times, at night there's enough 'business' that a second skeeve, 'Ptomaine Mary,' comes in."

Harry peered out the window to see if his Blazer was still there and added, "Sometimes, when the theater opens (1:00PM), I wait for the first climax and stick my finger over the lens.  When the screen goes black, the businessmen who come in on their lunch hour to get their rocks off and go back to work all moan and groan at the same time."  When I smiled Harry laughed, "Who are they going to complain to?"

Before I moved to Las Vegas in 1979, I visited Harry a couple of more times.  Once, one of my friends brought his kid-brother.  While we spoke to Harry, the sixteen-year old's eyes were glued to the screen.  When we finally pried him away from the boxy cut-out, he had lines denting his face from pressing on the square frame...he never heard the end of that, (I don't know what adverse effect this coming-of-age moment had on the little brother but that 'friend' went on to such a lowlife lifestyle...including drug distribution-related jail time...that even with social networking and hi-tech communications, no one I know has any idea of what ever happened to him).

Harry was way ahead of his time.  His idea of walking through the Regis Cinema's aisles with a flashlight was cutting edge humor.  Unfortunately for someone like Pee-Wee Herman, (Paul Reubens) when he "enjoyed his own company" at a porno theater in Florida, a vice-cop was holding the flashlight.

PAUL REUBENS (1952-PRESENT) DEVELOPED CHILDLIKE PEE-WEE HERMAN INTO A HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL BRAND.  ONCE HE GOT HIS ALTER EGO UP AND RUNNING, HE MADE ALL HIS PUBLIC APPEARANCES IN-CHARACTER.  SOON HE WOULD STAR IN TWO MOVIES AND HAVE A SATURDAY MORNING KIDDIE SHOW THAT WAS ENTERTAINING ENOUGH TO ATTRACT A MAJOR ADULT FOLLOWING.

My first "exposure" to Pee-Wee Herman was an appearance on Johnny Carson's, "THE TONIGHT SHOW."  At Johnny's desk, he was hilarious as he drew-out his own version of the old joke with the punchline, "I don't know this man's name, but his face rings a bell."  (I searched for that clip on youtube and came up empty).

RUEBENS WAS INSPIRED TO NAME HIS CHARACTER AFTER "PEE-WEINY MINIATURE HARMONICAS."  IN 1977,  HE STARTED IN SHOW BIZ WITH "THE GROUNDLINGS," COMEDY TROUPE WHICH INCLUDED PHIL HARTMAN.  IN 1981, HIS STAND-UP NIGHT CLUB ACT, FEATURING HIS NEW PERSONA, SOLD OUT L.A.'s ROXY THEATER, FIVE MONTHS IN A ROW AND LANDED HIM AN HBO SPECIAL.

Pee-Wee became one of my hidden guilty pleasures.  I admitted my appreciation for him only when I found out that many of my friends were "closet fans" too.

In 1985, he parlayed that success by toning down the sexual innuendo of his material and making a mediocre movie called, "PEE-WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE."  While this comedy didn't greatly appeal to its targeted pre-teen audience, in a short time, it developed a cult following among young adults.  Pee-Wee's signature laugh and some of his other lines became enduring catchphrases...many of which are in use today.  I know this because I use those lines and people get it and appreciate the reference.

Don't tell Francis but Large Marge sent me, to tell you that this movie clip was found in the basement of the Alamo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BodXwAYeTfM


Reubens ascent to the top continued with his CBS, Saturday morning kiddie show, "PEE-WEE'S PLAYHOUSE."  From 1986-1991, this Emmy Award winning program delighted youngsters with talking furniture, wild contraptions, puppets, unusual real people, cartoons, other special features and an occasional life lesson.  Also in 1988, he made the far less popular movie, "BIG-TOP PEE-WEE."

Paul Reubens' indecent exposure (public masturbation) arrest in Sarasota Florida squashed his career. 

THE FALL OF THE PEE-WEE EMPIRE.  BUT DID THE PUNISHMENT FIT THIS VICTIMLESS CRIME?

Despite great support from his show business brethren, the public responded with scorn and ridicule.   CBS felt compelled to cancel his contract, Pee-Wee merchandising came to an abrupt halt and Reubens sank into a deep depression.  His humiliation was so acute that it resulted in a self-imposed exile from public life.

REUBENS WASN'T SMART ENOUGH TO PROTECT THE GOLDMINE HE WAS SITTING ON .  TODAY, THE OLD PEE-WEE MERCHANDISE IS HIGHLY COLLECTIBLE.  THIS DOLL, IN USED CONDITION WOULD COST AT LEAST $50.00.

I really felt that my son Andrew missed-out on something great.  Then when he was four (1998), the "Pee-Wee's Playhouse" reruns briefly became available.  I liked the show so much that I didn't even feel it was a guilty pleasure to watch because I saw how much Andrew liked it.  Even though the "salesman" character scared my boy enough that he'd run out of the room until the skit was over.

Paul Reubens greatness still gets mixed reviews.  So it was no accident that his star on the "HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME" does not bear the perceived creepiness of his real name, it uses Pee-Wee's. Nevertheless, Reubens' fading star power still lands him plenty of small roles in movies and on TV.  For instance, I thought he was funny as game show host Troy Stevens on, "YOU DON'T KNOW JACK."  Plus there's still talk of him resurrecting his Pee-Wee franchise on TV, Broadway and the movies.

IN 2001, THIS ABC QUIZ SHOW LASTED ONLY SIX EPISODES.  I LIKED IT, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE CONTESTANTS WE DISTRACTED FROM DOING MATH PROBLEMS BY CRYING BABIES, MARIACHI BANDS AND CHILDREN PLAYING (POORLY) "TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR," ON VIOLINS.

I still hadn't heard of Pee-Wee Herman when I left Las Vegas in 1984 and moved back to Brooklyn.  At that point Harry was still at the Regis Cinema.  On one occasion, I dropped in on him.  This ticket lady reminded me of Madge except she had a leathery face and puffy auburn hair with wisps of gray.  When Harry came down, he greeted her as Muriel before hurrying me along...because his favorite TV show "THE PEOPLE'S COURT" was coming on.

"THE PEOPLE'S COURT," STARRED RETIRED JUDGE, JOSEPH WAPNER (1919-PRESENT).  WAPNER'S INTEGRITY AND OBJECTIVITY GAVE THE SHOW ENOUGH LONGEVITY THAT HE LASTED ON IT FROM 1981-1993 (2482 EPISODES).  MANY REALITY COURTROOM PROGRAMS FOLLOWED AND THEY ARE STILL POPULAR TODAY.  THE 1988 MOVIE, "RAIN MAN" FOREVER IMMORTALIZED "THE PEOPLE'S COURT" WITH DUSTIN HOFFMAN'S LINE, "IT'S TEN MINUTES TO WAPNER."

I noticed that Harry's job had evolved into an even more relaxed environment because he was now wearing jeans, sneakers and a beat-up, sleeveless sweatshirt with the number twenty-four hand-sewn onto the back.  When he laid down on the chaise lounge I asked if he parked his new Blazer in the same place.  He said, "Look out the window, it was still there a half hour ago."  I saw his truck all by itself by the vacant lot and said, "It is..."  Then he cut me off, pointed at the TV and excitedly said, "Here comes Wapner's bailiff, Rusty Burrell. He's the best part of the show."

Harry was not the telephone calling type.  So I was surprised a week later when he rang me up.  What was more shocking was when he called...ten after one in the morning!  Even more incredible, his whole message was, "Drop everything you're doing.  Come down to the Regis NOW!  We got a once in a lifetime movie...showtime is at two!"

The last thing I wanted to do in that neighborhood at night...was get out of my car.  I was still 50-50 on scratching the whole mission as I turned onto the theater's street.  The huge old-fashioned marquee was not lit up so I assumed that Harry was mistaken.  But when I looked down the usually empty side street, every parking space along the vacant lot was taken...with Harry's SUV in its usual spot.

I cruised past the darkened, unoccupied ticket booth.  But beyond it, I saw some people milling around, inside the dimly lit vestibule.  I drove around the corner and parked up the street from Harry.  Inside the Regis' majestic vestibule, next to a hand-made sign that read: $20, a rugged, gangster-type holding a fist full of money, stood at the theater's inner entrance  While I hesitated, two men passed me, handed the hoodlum-dude a twenty each and went in.  When we caught eye-contact, the tough guy's squinting facial gesture suggested to me; you gonna shit or get off the pot.  I advanced towards him and sheepishly said, "Is Harry around?"  The man leaned inside the door and yelled, "Harry!"

Harry hustled me inside.  He introduced me to one of his other friends, (Neil) a timid guy about my age.  I was noticing another mobster doing a brisk business selling cans of beer at the candy counter as Harry whispered, "Check this out."  He took me and Nervous Neil into the audience and it seemed like every seat was taken...even up front  Then he said, "See those guys along the wall, its all standing room from now on." 

I realized that I hadn't seen even one woman since I got there.  No Madge, no Muriel, not even Stella Lugosi or Typhoid Mary was there to service this high volume gathering.  I glanced at milquetoast Neil and started to worry about how well I knew Harry?  So I blurted out, "Harry, what's going on?"  My host looked at his watch and said, "We gotta go upstairs."

In the projection room, Harry was double-checking the reels when I said, "C'mon, what's going on?"  Neil's voice cracked as he whispered, "It's an illegal 'snuff film.'"  I said, "What's that?"  Harry said, "If there's a raid, we'll all go to jail."  I said, "But what is a snuff film?"  Neil said, "Snuff!  They really snuff someone out in the movie..."  Harry shut off the lights and said, "Okie dokie, here we go.  But if you two weasels want to get out now...it's no skin off my teeth."

The three of us advanced to the little square cut-outs in the wall and watched the movie.

Despite this low-low budget, underground "extravaganza" being made in South America and poorly dubbed into English, you couldn't hear a peep out of the audience.  For me, after the expected excitement of the first twenty minutes didn't materialize, this crappy, disorganized movie with zero production value dragged on for the next hour.  The political plot was stupid, the actors looked like cardboard figures, the trace of gun play wasn't very violent, there wasn't any nudity and the typical, big chase scene at the end...NEVER happen!

The crowd was murmuring as the closing credits came up.  There was an unhappy buzz as plenty of people left the theater.  I was saying good-bye as Harry whispered to us, "Wait, there's ten more minutes..."

When the credits were over, the camera panned 180 degrees off the actors and onto the crew.  A woman with a clipboard approached the director and said, "That was great, you're a genius..."  The director forcibly started to passionately kiss the woman and she responded in kind.  Behind them, the production staff busily moved lights and cameras as the director fondled the woman chest.  When his hand wandered under her skirt she cooed, "This is cool, but not here."  He became enraged and tore off her blouse.  She screamed.  Suddenly the crew pushed a four-posted bed behind them and the director threw her down.  The girl was gagged and her hands and feet were bound to the posts by the crew as the director savagely ripped off the rest of her clothes.

The director is handed a pair of wire cutters and snips off one of her fingers.  I really wish these were special-effects but considering the low-budget of this abomination, I unfortunately think it actually happened.  The director turned, to show off his demented grin to the camera before removing the gag from her mouth.  Her screaming worsened with each additional finger he lopped off.  Then the director snapped his fingers and was handed a surgical blade.  He sliced this poor girl straight up from her abdomen to her neck.  Memories of dissecting a frog in tenth grade biology came to my mind when like a capitol "I," he cut her across at the navel and the chest.

Other hands appeared and pulled away her skin to reveal inner organs.  When he grabbed her intestines, I'm guessing the shock forced her to pass out.  Her screams were replaced by music.  It was the opening of the "ROCKY" theme as he lifted her snake-like innards over his head in triumph.  I wished I had turned away faster but that's when I had seen enough.

I'm not proud of myself.  I haven't shared this embarrassment with many people because the snuff film has scarred me for life.

Perhaps if the Regis was raided that night, I would have needed the objectivity of a Judge Wapner or else, an over zealous arbiter seeking to make a name for them self might have ruined my
life.

So if you doubted Larry Flynt's statement about which is more obscene, I hope my experience helps you be a little more sympathetic to the many faces of Paul Reubens...because we are all capable of getting caught indulging our guilty pleasures with our pants down.

*

To brighten your mood, click on the link below and watch the "Pee-Wee's Playhouse" theme song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKcYGOIJhqo

CELEBRITY SOFA; JAMES GLEASON, THE TREE THAT GREW IN BROOKLYN

IN THE NOVEL/MOVIE, "A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN, " THE MAIN CHARACTER FRANCIE NOLAN, IS AN IMPOVERISHED ELEVEN-YEAR OLD GIRL. SHE COMPLAINS TO HER DRUNKEN, IDEALISTIC FATHER WHEN THE TREE SHE CALLS, "THE TREE OF HEAVEN," (A METAPHOR OF HER), IS ABOUT TO BE CUT DOWN. 

HIS RESPONSE IS;  Why sure baby.  Don't tell me that tree is gonna lay down and die that easily.  Look at that tree.  See where its coming from.  Right out of the cement!  Didn't nobody plant it.  Didn't ask (permission from) the cement to grow.  It just couldn't help growing so much it just pushed the old cement out of the way.  Now when you bust it, with something like that, can't nobody help it, like, like that little ole bird up there.  He didn't ask anybody could he sing and he certainly didn't take any lessons.  He's so full of it, it just has to bust out someplace.  Why they couldn't cut that tree to the ground and (still) a root would push up somewhere else in the cement.

Old movies are one of my great escapes. The ones I like, I'll watch over and over.  Somehow, thanks mainly to "TURNER CLASSIC MOVIES" (TCM),  even if years get between viewings, these gems can't help pushing their way through the cracks to entertainment me, (and millions of others).  This guiltless pleasure radiates within me on several levels but mostly, I appreciate their quality, familiarity and consistency.  I rarely get caught-up in their inner, technical workings, I prefer the style, enjoy the stories and love the characters.

I get a warm and fuzzy feeling from the actors and their roles.  Like old home movies of a long lost relative or friend, my movies are a time capsule.  Remember the old home movies at grandma's Thanksgiving in 1961?  And isn't it priceless how the memories are stirred when you see your Uncle Charlie sleeping on the sofa...for the thirtieth time. That's the affect I get when watching the big Hollywood superstars in action. 

My friend HJ recently experienced something similar.  He informed me that his dad appeared in the late 60's as an impostor on the TV show, "TO TELL THE TRUTH."

"TO TELL THE TRUTH," USED A PANEL OF FOUR CELEBRITIES TO SEPARATE TWO IMPOSTORS FROM THE REAL CONTESTANT WHO HAD AN USUAL OCCUPATION OR EXPERIENCE. IN VARIOUS VERSIONS, THE SHOW,  IN NON-CONSECUTIVE YEARS, APPEARED FROM 1956 TO 2002, FOR 25 SEASONS

Some of the notable To Tell The Truth guests were; aviator Douglas "Wrong-Way" Corrigan, (1957), Berry Gordy Jr., the founder of Motown Records, (1965), Frank Abignale Jr., for whom the Leonardo DiCaprio movie, "CATCH ME IF YOU CAN," was based as well as popcorn mogul Orville Redenbacher. I even went with a girlfriend in 1971, to 30 Rockefeller Center and saw an NBC production of it, (in studio 6-A).  Our episode included Francis Gary Powers, the CIA, U2 spy plane pilot who was shot down and captured in Russia.

AMERICAN FRANCIS GARY POWERS, (1929-1977), WAS ON A RECONNAISSANCE FLIGHT IN 1960.  HE WAS HELD IN THE USSR FOR TWO YEARS UNTIL HE WAS INCLUDED IN A SPY SWAP.  

Luckily for HJ the "GAME SHOW NETWORK," began airing To Tell The Truth, re-runs.  When he found out, his wife taped them.  It took a long time but the fruits of their labor resulted in a rare glimpse (for the pre-camcorder generation) of his father, captured forever in time, in his prime, speaking.  Seeing it sparks great memories for him that might have never been rekindled.

I'm jealous, I wish I had some youthful video of  my dad speaking.  Therefore, I admit that seeing the icons of the silver screen pales by comparison but I still love watching "my" Hollywood friends perform. 

Sometimes, the less than iconic stars are fun too. This is true in the case of balding, slender character actor, James Gleason.  While casual movie fans might not know him by name, this native of Manhattan is highly noticeable because from 1931-1958, he made a career out of being typecast as a tough New Yorker (usually from Brooklyn) with a warm heart.  My connection with this craggy voiced master of double-talk probably stems from me being from Brooklyn and that I could identify with his accurate portrayals. 

NEVER A LEADING MAN, JAMES GLEASON (1882-1959) APPEARED IN OVER 40 MOVIES. WHILE HE WAS ALSO A SCREEN WRITER AND A PLAYWRIGHT, HE WAS BEST KNOW FOR HIS SECONDARY ROLES IN ALL SIX, "HILDEGARDE WITHERS" MYSTERIES OF THE 30's, "MEET JOHN DOE" 1941, "HERE COMES MR. JORDAN," 1941, "ARSENIC AND OLD LACE," 1944, "THE BISHOP'S WIFE," 1947 AND "SUDDENLY," 1954.  

My favorite James Gleason role, (he received seventh billing) was from 1945's, "A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN."  In this three-and-a-half star adaption of Betty Smith's semi-autobiographical novel from two years earlier, Gleason plays  "McGarrity," a low-end saloon keeper/bartender.

As mentioned in the prologue above, young Francie Nolan grows up in the turn-of-the-century slums of Williamsburg Brooklyn.  Her personality is a combination of her stern, pragmatic, hard working mother and her charismatic, imaginative, deadbeat father.

FRANCIE NOLAN WILL GROW UP TO BE AN AUTHOR. SINCE I FIRST READ "TREE" IN JUNIOR HIGH, MY WRITING HAS BEEN INFLUENCED BY ONE OF IT'S STRONGEST THEMES...WRITING WHAT YOU KNOW.

Francie's pretty mother (Katie) in exchange for free rent, is forced to be the janitor where she lives.  She is frequently shown scrubbing floors to barely support her family. Her dad (Johnny) gets intermittent work as a singing waiter but when he has some money, he proves his worthlessness by squandering it on booze.

Gleason's role (more richly described in the book) is typical of him.  Perhaps because of the difficult nature of running a dive in a poor neighborhood, he is seen as a miserable, cantankerous soul.  When Johnny Nolan (32) dies from complications from pneumonia and alcohol poisoning, Katie, who never met McGarrity, feels compelled by her sense of fair play to face the ogre, relinquish her sparse savings, settle her husband's bar tab and retrieve his personal mug, (so Johnny can be buried with it).

Before going to the male oriented bar room, Francie's mother goes to the coroner's office.  She pleads (successfully) for the sake of her children to omit any inference of liquor from her husband's death certificate.  Then at McGarrity's, she sees the curmudgeon's negativity in action.  Still, she prods herself forward, introduces herself and explains her visit.

Johnny's charismatic spirit squeezes up through the grave, through the most unlikely cracks in the concrete of McGarrity's outward appearance and into his heart. The gin mill operator lightens up when he sees Katie's beauty.  Then he lies and says that Johnny Nolan already paid off his account. 

In reality, Johnny (The Brooklyn Nightingale) was a barfly who was frequently mocked and/or thrown out.  He pan-handed free drinks by singing and telling wild yarns about his wonderful family. When McGarrity saw Katie, he figured that Johnny wasn't full of blarney after all. He then confesses to her that he has a miserable personal life.  But Johnny's incredible, loving stories made him feel good and made anything seem possible.

This sequence is the catalyst that turns Francie's family fortunes around and will eventually lead to a happy ending for everyone.  Well, not Johnny Nolan, who's worth more dead, than alive.  This is proven immediately when McGarrity offers Francie's younger brother a job after school, (even though financially, this gesture is poor business decision and unnecessary...it slips through the cracks and becomes an emotional windfall for McGarrity by keeping a part of Johnny nearby).

I once made the mistake of relating myself to the Johnny Nolan character.  When my son was young, I couldn't control my enthusiasm for sharing, the great details of my family life.  After all, to quote baseball legend Reggie Jackson, "It ain't braggin' if you can do it." But I soon realized that people (many more than I imagined) led tough lives and didn't want to hear so much, so often.  Then when I considered that Johnny Nolan died a young man, I toned-down that aspect of my life.

"A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN," is a sensitive coming of age story.  Written in a social commentary wrapper, it reflects the American dream as well as being a nostalgic look back to simpler times. So please don't let anyone tell you that, "Tree" is a girlie book or a chick-flick. 

FRANCIE AND JOHNNY NOLAN, AT  THE COURTYARD WINDOW WHERE THEY ADMIRE THE "TREE OF HEAVEN" WHICH PERSEVERED WITHOUT WATER, SUNLIGHT OR EVEN SOIL.

But today, whether you're an old softy like me or not, I'm selling James Gleason's, McGarrity.  Like the tree, once you get past his gruffness, you realize that he is common and humble.  And it's his humility that makes him and the tree more powerful. 

If it sounds like I'm bragging...GOOD!  Because there is something inside me that can't stop my praise.  So the next time you get an urge to watch a great old movie,  do yourself a favor because it's worth seeing (or reading) over and over.

BURGESS MEREDITH; TIME ENOUGH AT LAST

When I first got cable-TV, I thought I'd never leave the house. Alas, I was wrong, because like any new toy, after a while it gets old. Also, what might seem like the panacea of unlimited programming, turns out to be an awful lot of tripe and duplication. Plus, if you're not sharp, you can be lured into buying more and more cable tiers because you'll always feel like you're missing something.

Now that I have admitted having that knowledge, I confide in you that I'm considering getting NETFLIX. Yes, in these days of economic uncertainty, I'm still tempted to take the plunge and splurge...and when I get it, I promise to occasionally leave the house.

Netflix is an on-demand Internet streaming media company. Or simply, a subscriber movie and TV show (on DVD), rental by mail service.

ESTABLISHED IN 1997, THE COMPANY BOASTS 100,000 TITLES. THEIR FLAT-RATE MONTHLY SERVICE NOW INCLUDES DIRECT ACCESS TO YOUR COMPUTER OR TV.

In my mind, I have produced a line-up, (or as Netflix calls it, a queue), of about fifty titles that I want to see. I picture having a pile for each month. On my dresser, I imagine September's with, "ZELIG ," or "A CLOCKWORK ORANGE," on top. On the entertainment center, my batch of spooky October goodies would include, "MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000" and "THE SIXTH SENSE." Sitting on the floor, November's selections would have, "THE ARISTOCRATS" and "BROADWAY DANNY ROSE." And in December, obviously that stack of movies will be left on my mantle next to my stockings. Then as usual, I'll wait till the 25th, for one of my all-time favorites. Only this year, I won't be distracted by a million commercials when, "IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE," comes on the CW Network, (formerly UPN). THIS NETWORK IS KNOWN FOR TERRIBLE CONTENT. I BELIEVE THE "CW" STANDS FOR "CONSISTENTLY WORTHLESS. IF YOU RECALL, IT TOOK OVER THE EQUALLY INEPT UPN, IN 2006.

I don't think its a coincidence but this fantasy Netflix project of mine makes me think of Oliver "Burgess" Meredith. More than a screen actor, his remarkable, diverse and enduring career spanned over sixty years. Meredith's lengthy list of credits also includes starring roles on Broadway, TV, radio programs, commercials and more.

Please note that during the (Joe) McCarthy-Era, had he not been suspected of being a Communist and blacklisted by the House Committee on Un-American Activities for seven years, his prolific career would have been even greater.AT 30, BURGESS MEREDITH...NOVEMBER 16, 1907 - SEPTEMBER 9, 1997.

One of the gems in my Netflix want list is, the oldest of Meredith's work that I am familiar with. It's his starring role in 1939's, "OF MICE AND MEN." In this adaptation of John Steinbeck's classic novel, he plays street-wise migrant farm worker George, opposite Lon Chaney Jr.'s feeble-minded Lenny.

I was always drawn to, "Of Mice and Men," because in seventh grade, it was the first novel I had to analyze in class...that I had seen the movie. It's special place in my heart was strengthened by the fact that the Lenny and George-type characters appeared in several old cartoons. By understanding the literary basis of that humor, the animated silliness took on intellectual overtones and made me feel smarter because I was in on the joke.

SET IN DEPRESSION-ERA CALIFORNIA, MEREDITH'S ROLE HAS HIM STRUGGLING AGAINST THE ODDS TO FULFILL HIS DREAMS, WHILE HOLDING ONTO A MEAGER JOB AND PROTECTING HIS OVER-SIZED, CHILD-LIKE FRIEND.

Another Burgess Meredith movie that Netflix can put in my hands is 1945's, "THE STORY OF G. I. JOE." In it, he portrayed famed World War II correspondent Ernie Pyle. Meredith received top billing and high acclaim in this factual story centering around the reporter's human interest articles about the grunts on the front lines from 1942-1945.

General Dwight Eisenhower called this the finest war film he ever saw. Probably because Pyle didn't write about the politics, battles or generals. Instead, he filled American newspapers with insights into the loneliness of command as well as the capacity to survive drudgery and discomfort during the terror of combat.

MEREDITH (LEFT). THE MOVIE WAS FINISHED BEFORE THE WAR ENDED. THE LAST LINE WAS, "FOR THOSE BENEATH THE WOODEN CROSSES, THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO, EXCEPT PERHAPS TO PAUSE AND MURMUR, THANKS PAL, THANKS." AFTER THE WAR IN EUROPE ENDED, PYLE CONTINUED HIS WORK IN THE SOUTH PACIFIC...HE WAS LATER KILLED IN ACTION ON OKINAWA.

Netflix also offers countless, vintage and current TV shows. Therefore for those so inclined such as myself, TV's ultra-campy, "BATMAN," is available. Be sure to look for Burgess Meredith's renowned role as the villainous, "Penguin."
AS ROBIN MIGHT SAY; WHOLLY CUCUMBERS BATMAN, WE SURE ARE IN A PICKLE. "BATMAN," RAN 120 EPISODES FROM 1966-1968. MEREDITH'S PENGUIN WAS TIED WITH CESAR ROMERO'S JOKER AS BATMAN'S MOST FREQUENT NEMESIS. MEREDITH ALSO APPEARED IN THE 1966, "BATMAN," MOVIE.

I wasn't a big fan of the "ROCKY" movies but the original from 1976 is still worth another look. Meredith's memorable role is of Mickey Goldmill, Rocky's intense, gravel-voiced manager.

MEREDITH ALSO APPEARED IN ,"ROCKY II" AND "ROCKY III."

The "SYFY," network occasionally hosts 24-hour marathons of Rod Serling's original, "TWILIGHT ZONE." But Netflix can bring these Emmy-clustered beauties into your home whenever you like. In addition to the puzzling stories, it's also fun to spot the famous actors who were either at the end of their career struggling for work or newcomers vying for stardom.

Burgess Meredith appeared in four "Twilight Zone," episodes. But the one that immediately came to mind when I imagined piling up Netflix movies all over my living room was called, "TIME ENOUGH AT LAST." This episode touches on such social issues as; anti-intellectualism, reliance on technology and the difference between solitude and loneliness.

Meredith plays Henry Bemis a nearsighted bank teller who is intimidated by his nit-picking boss at work and dominated by his overbearing wife at home. All he really wants out of life is some quiet privacy to read. During his lunch hour at work, he finds an underground sanctuary, in the bank vault. As "luck" would have it, there is a violent explosion above him. The bookworm claws through the remains of the building. In the street, he discovers that the much ballyhooed nuclear holocaust had taken place while he was safe in his subterranean oasis.

"TV GUIDE," RATED, "THE TWILIGHT ZONE," #26 IN THEIR, "TOP 50 TV SHOWS OF ALL TIME."

Bemis can't fathom his dire situation. He wipes his thick eye-glasses and aimlessly staggers through the devastated streets. He comes across riches like money and jewelry, understands their new insignificance and falls into despair. Bemis' depression worsens when he sees that he has enough food to last forever, but that there is nobody to share it with.

All seems lost when Bemis senses that he is the last man on earth and finds a revolver in the rubble...until he comes across a huge library. He walks up the concrete stairway and begins to pile up all the salvageable books he ever wanted to read. He is about to start his literary joy ride when his glasses fall off and shatter.

Surrounded by the books he'll never read, the virtually blind Bemis laments, "That's not fair. That's not fair at all. There was time. There was all the time I needed. That's not fair."

A section of Rod Serling's narrative conclusion alluded to a Scottish poem; The best-laid schemes of mice and men, often go awry.

Unfortunately for me, I have experienced a Henry Bemis moment myself. The long rumored lay-offs at my wife's main part-time job were just made official. Worse yet, her secondary job is on shakier ground than we anticipated...and now my place has announced mid-September lay-offs as well.

I hate to admit it but with all our employment in jeopardy, the CW Network can open its arms and embrace me yet again. Ahh, nothing beats the smell of ten-minute segments of, "APOCALYPSE NOW," intertwined with five-minute blocks of commercials...in the morning. That means, to be on the safe side, I'm not taking the splurging plunge of Netflix. I'm going to save my eight dollars a month and put my date with movie destiny, temporarily on hold.