VEGAS VACATION - 2009

This year our family vacation was in three main parts. Las Vegas for 4 nights, the Grand Canyon for 3 nights and while there, a day trip to the Painted Desert and Petrified Forest.

KURUDAVE was kind enough to drive us to the Philadelphia Airport. His funny stories made the usually dull ride the fastest ever.

Tightened security at the terminal resulted in our feet getting strip searched. Sans footwear our ordeal worsened when our mousse and sun-screen were confiscated from our carry-on luggage.

I stress the carry-on phrase because USAIR in an attempt to keep their airfares low, charge $15 for your first suitcase and $25 for each addition piece. This compels you to carry a ton of crap that normally would be stowed in suitcases. Luckily LEFTYDEE warned us about carry-on weight restrictions or we would have paid a lot more unnecessarily. However, we were not prepared in regard to liquids and aerosol cans that were seized from our carry-ons.

To further minimize their overhead, USAIR does NOT provide a free meal, movie or even pillows. The plane we flew is nicknamed an "Air-Bus" and I would guess that a Greyhound would have been roomier. This notion was emphasized by the narrow aisles and the struggle to navigate through them by the less-than-spry stewardesses and their 747-size butts.

On the ground we were met by FRANKIERIO who not only showed us around downtown Vegas but agreed to give us a full tour the next day.

FRANKIERIO WAS A CHARTER MEMBER OF MY POKER BUDDIES. HE MOVED TO VEGAS IN 1996. BACK THEN HE LOVED TO TAKE TOYS OUT OF ANDREW'S CRIB AND PLAY WITH THEM.

Don't get me wrong all the major casinos are beautiful and if you can afford it, they offer ANYTHING you could possibly want.

I DON'T KNOW WHATS MORE INSANE, A FERRARI DEALERSHIP IN THE WYNN CASINO...OR THE $10 FEE TO COME IN AND BROWSE FOR NON-FERRARI/MASERATI OWNERS.

The irony is that despite the upscale casinos having different themes...in the end...unless you're really observant, they are hard to differentiate from one another. One shining star was the brand new M Casino. In the middle of nowhere (the furthest southern point on the strip), it caters to locals and doesn't get at all caught up in the commercialism like the others. Coincidentally, several of our (Frank and me) former Atlantic City coworkers are there and we got a comp (freebie) to their lavish buffet.

IT WAS AT THE M CASINO POOL THAT ANDREW FOUND OUT ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON'S DEATH. IT TOOK HIM QUITE SOME TIME TO FIND THE RIGHT WORDS TO BREAK THE NEWS TO ME.
AT THE VENETIAN, MADAME TUSSUAD'S WAX MUSEUM WASTED NO TIME IN GETTING A MICHAEL JACKSON TRIBUTE OUT INTO THE STREET.

Our casino hopping extended till after 1:AM with the outdoor casino shows at the Bellagio, Mirage and Treasure Island.

THE BELLAGIO'S FOUNTAIN SHOW SYNCHRONIZED WITH OPERA MUSIC WAS THE BEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL.

The next day we set out on our own (about 10 miles) to Red Rock Canyon.

ITS NOW WRITTEN INTO A CONTRACT, I MUST REFER TO ANDREW IN ALL SHOTS SUCH AS THIS AS; "MR. BEEFCAKE."

THE NEXT DAY WE FOUND OUT THAT A HIKER IN RED ROCK CANYON FELL TO HIS DEATH RIGHT AFTER WE LEFT. THAT'S WHY, IF YOU SQUINT, YOU'LL NOTICE THIS DANGEROUS SHOT WAS POSED BY A PROFESSIONAL STUNT DOUBLE. NEXT TIME I'LL PONY-UP THE FEW EXTRA BUCKS AND RENT ONE WITH LESS OF A GUT.

That night we went to the Mandalay Bay Casino and saw the touring company production of Broadway's "LION KING."

Our last Vegas day was a photo shoot and visit to every gift shop in town.

ICONIC "VEGAS VIC" HAS LURED GAMBLERS INTO THE PIONEER CLUB CASINO SINCE 1951. UNFORTUNATELY, ITS NOW AN ESPECIALLY SEEDY TEE-SHIRT SHOP FEATURING A TIME-SHARE SPIELER IN FRONT !

On our way to the Stratosphere Casino gift shop, we encountered one of the greatest examples of substance over form. This casino features amusement park rides on its lofty tower roof. We figured we'd go up to the "penthouse" just to take pictures. With the rides having a separate price, they have the audacity to charge $15 per person just to go up, (it was still $12 for hotel guests). Our ten minute look-see would have cost us $45. Conversely, substance once again prevails because a seven-day admission to the Grand Canyon is $25 per car.

AT THE SITE OF THE FORMER JOLLY-TROLLEY CASINO, THE SELF-PROCLAIMED, "WORLD'S BIGGEST GIFT SHOP" HOLDS SWAY. PERSONALLY, ALL IT IS, IS A VEGAS-THEMED SPENCER GIFTS. AND TRUST ME, LIKENING THIS SCHLOCK STORE TO THE GIFT SHOP AT HERSHEY PARK, SIZE-WISE, IS LIKE COMPARING RHODE ISLAND TO ALASKA.

We finished our trip's Vegas segment with a near-disastrous trip to the outlet center. Sue was on the clock for 90 minutes and went her own way. While Andrew and I cased this outdoor mall in the early evening 102 degree swelter, I stopped at a bench to get a pebble out of my sneaker. When Sue was done, I volunteered to get the car. At the car I realized I didn't have the keys. I didn't panic because I knew the only place Andrew and I stopped was that bench...I hurried back, but they weren't there. While Sue searched for a lost and found and security...I stupidly decided to re-trace all my steps. I'm guessing the forces of evil went back to hell to cool off because a little farther up from where I THOUGHT I stopped...was an identical bench and the keys were there.

The Grand Canyon when you drive a rented, 4-cylinder Ford Focus at 90 MPH, is less than four hours. To break-up the trip we had a "pit-stop" in Ash Fork, Arizona.

MOTHS LIKE THIS WERE UBIQUITOUS AROUND THE GAS PUMPS. WHEN I ASKED THE ATTENDANT WHAT THEY WERE SHE SAID, "THEY'RE SOME KIND OF BUG."

I visited the Grand Canyon in 1976. I was young and dumb, and figured I'd take one look and leave...I took one look and stayed three days. Afterwards I told people; no picture will ever do it justice, the Grand Canyon is something you have to see to appreciate.

READ THE SMALL PRINT AT THE TOP. SEE, I WASN'T ORIGINAL, THIS SIGN IS POSTED OUTSIDE WHERE THE GRANDVIEW, (THE FIRST GRAND CANYON HOTEL), WAS BUILT - 1898.

The National Park portion of the Grand Canyon's south rim stretches about 50 miles east to west. Every picture you take has unique beauty. We went to two sunsets and were rewarded both time.

OUR SECOND SUNSET WAS AT THE SCENIC OVERLOOK CALLED "THE ABYSS." THEY DON'T ALLOW PRIVATE CAR TRAFFIC TO THE WESTERN END OF THE PARK SO YOU HAVE TO USE THE FREE SHUTTLE. WE WANTED TO GO ALL THE WAY TO THE END...TO THE BEST PLACE TO SEE THE SUNSET, "HERMIT'S REST." BUT BECAUSE WE HAD TROUBLE PARKING, WE WERE RUNNING LATE. INSTEAD WE BAILED-OUT AT THE ABYSS. AS WE GOT OFF, THE DRIVER INFORMED US THAT THERE WERE ONLY TWO MORE BUSES BACK TO CIVILIZATION. AS THE BUS PULLED AWAY, WE REALIZED THAT WE WERE THE ONLY PEOPLE THERE...ITS KIND OF SPOOKY BECAUSE THERE ARE CROWDS EVERYWHERE. ABOUT 10 MINUTES LATER, ANOTHER BUS CAME JUST BEFORE THE SUN WENT DOWN. WE EXPECTED THE NEXT BUS...THE "LAST BUS" ANOTHER 10 MINUTES AFTER THAT. WELL IT DIDN'T COME. IT GOT DARK AND SWARMS OF GNATS ATTACKED. SOON HUNDREDS (one at a time) SMALL BIRDS STRAFED JUST ABOVE OUR HEADS. I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO NOT MENTION THAT THEY WERE BATS. SOON, SUE WENT INTO AFRAID-OF-THE-DARK MODE AND STARTED TO PANIC. SHE WANTED TO WALK THE 3.5 MILES BACK TO THE CAR. I SOMEHOW TALKED HER DOWN. IN THE ENSUING 40 MINUTES, I TOLD HER THAT THE LOW FLYING BIRDS WERE BATS. SHE WAS TOO WORRIED ABOUT GETTING EATEN BY BEARS AND/OR MOUNTAIN LIONS TO CARE. WE WERE THERE ABOUT AN HOUR WHEN THE LAST BUS INDEED SHOWED UP.

The highlight was the hike down into the canyon. Its 9 miles to the bottom (Colorado River). We decided on the mile and a half route...about 2 hours round trip. We followed the safety suggestions and understood that its a lot harder coming back up. We didn't quite make it to our goal. Still, the slow walk up was terribly exhausting...but we all proudly survived the challenge. At the top I proclaimed, "Diet Cherry Pepsi for everybody!"

A RARE SHADY SPOT...ITS A GOOD THING I MADE RESERVATIONS THAT DAY. ON THE OTHER HAND, MULE RESERVATIONS MUST BE MADE A YEAR IN ADVANCE. ON THE WAY UP, I WAS INCREDIBLY TIRED BUT THE AWFUL DUNG SMELL MOTIVATED ME TO KEEP GOING.

On two separate nights, we attended outdoor lectures. Afterwards, at 9:30PM, the park is virtually empty. Seemingly alone on the road back to our hotel, the RED FEATHER LODGE, (10 miles away in scenic Tusayan Arizona), I was spotted by a park ranger. He told me that I rolled through two stop signs. I was convinced that I was getting a summons because it took so long to process my info...but he let me slide.

We finished our stay with a jaunt to the Petrified Forest and Painted Desert...a three-plus hour drive. The Grand Canyon is a tough act to follow and although these are beautiful places and we have great memories...they were rather dull.

SUE WAS UNIMPRESSED AND SAID OF THE PETRIFIED FOREST, "IT'S A BENT HUB-CAP AWAY FROM LOOKING LIKE A JUNKYARD." AND ANDREW SAID, "WE CAME A LONG WAY TO LOOK AT GIANT, CUT UP HOT DOGS." I LIKED IT MORE THAN THEM BUT DEEP DOWN, I COULDN'T HELP BUT AGREE.THE PAINTED DESERT HAD IT'S MOMENTS BUT BY THIS TIME, ALL WE WANTED WAS LUNCH.

Our last stop on the way to the Las Vegas (McCarron) Airport was Hoover Dam. Highway-93 runs across the top of dam. Due to heightened security, cars are spot checked. The traffic back-up along the steep, twisty road was awful. To reduce the chance of sabotage and to relieve the traffic crunch, a new bridge spanning the gorge is being built. Please notice the cables and partially completed roadway in the background of the photo below. Hoover Dam is much lower and can't be seen from this angle.

WE ONLY TOOK A COUPLE OF SNAPS THERE BECAUSE IT WAS 110 DEGREES.

Our flight back to Philadelphia was smooth...except for the old woman with a loud coarse voice behind us that kept harping on the death of TV pitchman Billy Mays...who died three days earlier...when his USAIR "air bus" had a rough landing and baggage fell out of the overhead compartment and onto his head. He seemed okay but two nights later he didn't wake-up.

Our great vacation was over. Kurudave faithfully picked us up in Philly and of course it was raining.

EDITOR'S NOTE - An additional 25 different vacation photos...with snappy captions...can be found on my FACEBOOK page.