The Ugly American concept is simple; we travel abroad and arrogantly batter everyone over the head with how perfect the USA is...while implying that they are unimportant, uninteresting, less intelligent or lacking in ingenuity.
Atlantic City attracts a global clientele. To get me through the average work day, while entertaining patrons, (and myself) I took the time to teach myself what I call, "Ten words in ten languages." I admit this knowledge is superficial but when people expect all Americans to know NOTHING about their way of life, they are pleasantly surprised that I know anything!
It helps being a "storehouse of useless information" and having a good memory because this technique allows me to say SOMETHING in several tongues, (usually, hello, good luck and thank you...as well as numbers, colors and other random words). Occasionally, in my spiel, I intentionally make a buffoon out of myself through mispronounciation...or just knowing I'm butchering the language with the wrong word, for comic effect.
Thanks to my Guru SAL, today's blog centers on the Hindi word for the number fourteen. For the sake of simplicity, it is phonetically spelled C-H-A-R-D-E. However, their version of the F-Bomb is C-H-O-D-E. I can't tell you how much mileage I get toying with this little idiocyncrasy that no Ugly American would ever take the time to learn, see the humor in or bring to market.
My original idea was to reflect on the year 1914 and sight the significance that year had on the ten decades since. But I was CHODED because 1914 was a pretty dull year.
Yes 'Charde, (get it, it's Hindi for '14) had some good things happening like:
- Ford Motors wages go from $2.40/hr (nine hour day), to $5.00/hr (eight hour day).
- Panama Canal opened
- Charlie Chaplin's tramp character debuts in, "AUTO KID RACES AT VENICE."
- First successful blood transfusion (Brussels Belgium).
- George Bernard Shaw's, "PYGMALION" debuts.
- Coal mine collapse in Eccles West Virginia, 181 dead.
- Mother's Day is established.
- Babe Ruth debuts as a Boston Red Sox pitcher.
- Greyhound Bus Lines open.
- First airplane flight (beyond the sight of land) Scotland to Norway.
- Mahatma Gandhi's first arrest, campaigning for Indian rights in South Africa...chode.
- Robert Goddard patents liquid rocket fuel...chode again !
- First traffic light in USA, (E. 105th Street and Euclid) Cleveland Ohio.
- Banditos Pancho Villa and Zapata overrun Mexico.
1914 also saw the deaths of George Westinghouse and John Muir.
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| JOHN MUIR (1838-1914) IS FREQUENTLY OVER-LOOKED AS A GREAT AMERICAN HERO. HE CHAMPIONED THE CAUSE OF PRESERVING OUR WILDERNESS WHILE HELPING TO ESTABLISH THE NATIONAL PARKS SYSTEM...GEORGE WESTINGHOUSE (1846-1914) BECAME FILTHY RICH DEVELOPING THE COMMERCIAL USE OF ELECTRICITY. A RIVAL OF THOMAS EDISON, THEY BOTH DESTROYED NIKOLA TESLA (1856-1943) WHO MIGHT HAVE LACKED THE BUSINESS GUILE AND STREET SMARTS BUT WHO NONETHELESS INVISIONED ELECTRICAL POWER TO BE FREE FOR THE MASSES. |
Some of the notable births of 1914 include;
- George Reeves (TV's Superman).
- Gypsy Rose Lee (Burlesque actress).
- Ida Lupino (Actress, director)
- Bill Veeck (Baseball team owner, innovator).
- Alec Guiness (Actor)
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| GEORGE REEVES (1914-1959). HIS BIRTH MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR. HE STANDS OUT AS MY FAVORITE SUPER-HERO, (SORRY ANDREW AND THE REST OF YOU BATMAN FANS). IF SUPERMAN WAS AROUND TODAY, I WONDER IF HE COULD STRAIGHTEN-OUT OUR MISGUIDED YOUTH AND THEIR BOGUS SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT...WITHOUT PUKING. |
I purposely didn't mention World War I. Yes, "the war to end all wars," dominated 1914's news. It was such a chode-ing blight on that year and history it self...that all the positives mentioned above seem unimportant in comparison.
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| INCREDIBLY SAD, WORLD WAR I (1914-1918) FEATURED TRENCH WARFARE. THIS EXERCISE IN FUTILITY, FEATURED SOLDIERS FIGHTING FOR A FEW FEET OF UNIMPORTANT TERRITORY. WHILE BEING SLAUGHTERED BY NEW MASS-KILLING TECHNOLOGY THAT WAS INCONVENIENTLY WAY AHEAD OF THE STRATEGIES THAT MIGHT PROTECT THEM. |
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| YOU MAY RECALL, THE HAL 9000, (HEURISTICALLY PROGRAMMED ALGORITHMIC COMPUTER) TAKES OVER THE SPACE SHIP. WHEN THE ASTRONAUT SAYS, "OPEN THE POD DOORS PLEASE, HAL." THE COMPUTER ANSWERS, "I'M SORRY DAVE, I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT." |
Ironically, many people are speculating that within the next hundred years, we will implant ourselves with computer chips and become exactly what we were the most afraid of...cybernetic robots. How about 2114 bringing us flying cars for local travel? Or being beamed across oceans in seconds. I say, it won't be far-fetched that our space program will place colonies on the moon, Mars etc.
On the flip side, are we in chode-ing deep shit? Will the other nations of the world band together to destroy the Ugly Americans? Or will a REAL conflict end all wars and threaten the planet's ability to survive? Or will Earth be saved by aliens from a parallel universe who promise to improve our way of life, by ending hatred, curing disease and feeding every corner of our world?
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| "THE TWILIGHT ZONE" FIRST AIRED ONE OF MY FAVORITE EPISODES, (MARCH 2 1962), CALLED, "TO SERVE MAN." IT FEATURED BENEVOLENT ALIENS WHO READ FROM A GREAT BOOK CLAIMING IT WOULD HELP OUR SOCIETY. COUNTLESS HUMAN VOLUNTEERS BOARDED THEIR MOTHERSHIP FOR A BETTER LIFE IN OUTER SPACE...UNTIL CRYPTOLOGISTS DECIPHERED THE CONTENTS AS...A COOK BOOK. |
Maybe in a hundred years, the babies being born now will reap the fruit of our kid's brilliance. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be confident that our great grandchildren will realize a better civilization that we could ever imagine through the hard work and genius of our grandchildren. If not, when the good visitors from Planet Xenon arrive, I hope future Edelblums will be sharp enough to learn a few inter-galactic phrases, to disspell the notion of the Ugly Earthling.
2 comments:
Superman puking, now that's imagery. Thank you Meester Steve for your enlightening information.
--- SLW
Thought provoking. As it turns out, and you already know this, my favorite super hero was Superman too. Interesting that my son's favorite was Batman, just like Andrew. Perhaps a topic for a future blog: "Chips off the old block."
That Zone episode was a great one. In fact the night I met my wife, in 1978, we talked about our favorite TV shows and episodes and that one we really laughed about. Of course the whole script was based on a simple pun! Rod Serling was a genius.
But what about the future and beaming across the ocean (or across the street?) like in Star Trek? Well I noticed you also mentioned flying cars. But why would we need any kind of cars if we can beam instead? Oh, and we won't need streets. Well..."thought experiments" like this can be fun for creative people. I like to think about secondary effects of the inventions that we all assume will be here some day. Here's another: When will we be able to "back up" the human brain and therefore finally create immortality? Doesn't seem too far-fetched since it could only be a function of writing software and huge computer memory capacity. It could happen easily within the next hundred years because it doesn't seem to implicate the laws of physics - like time travel does. And then what? Will our spouses really be stuck with us forever? Or will there be hundred year marriage contracts?
Thanks for another thoughtful and fun-to-read blog post.
HJ
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