DON'T LET YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS BE A CROCK!

Did you ever know deep in your heart that something was wrong?  But because it was so minor, you didn't speak up...even though it was driving you crazy?

Television personality Phil "Dr. Phil" McGraw once said of New Year's resolutions, "A year from now, you're gonna weigh more or less what you do right now."  On the surface I agree that we should be comfortable in our own skin.  But on a deeper level, while it's true that we must play the cards of life that we are dealt...I think it's more important for us to evolve, improve and be a better person.

PHIL McGRAW (1950-PRESENT) IS AN AUTHOR AND  FORMER PSYCHOLOGIST.  HE IS BEST KNOWN FOR STARRING IN HIS OWN TV SHOW, "DOCTOR PHIL," SINCE 2002.


Most resolutions are a crock.  People want to feel that they are in charge of their lives and that they are willing to make sacrifices in the name of self betterment. I know because I do that too. I've made the same resolution for thirty years and sadly, little has changed. So today's blog is dedicated to my New Year's resolution to be more assertive.  The irony is, to be more assertive all you need to be is...more assertive...and somehow it never happens  But here we are three days into the new year and I have already gone the extra mile...through the miracle of FACEBOOK.  

FACEBOOK THE KING OF ONLINE SOCIAL NETWORKING WAS FOUNDED BY MARK ZUCKERBERG, AMONG OTHERS, IN FEBRUARY 2004.

First, I digress by saying that in 1975, I lent my cherished 1963 New York Mets yearbook to a close friend.  It took about a year until he returned it.  About another year after that, I leafed through it and realized that...that particular copy wasn't mine.

Shortly there after I moved to Las Vegas.  So for five more years, this impostor Mets yearbook was tucked away in my parents' attic.  In 1984, my wife and I moved back in with my folks while waiting for my New Jersey casino license to be approved.  I never stressed about yearbook but when the sports memorabilia collecting phenomena gained momentum, I made it a point to re-unite with my potential treasure, (back then, a pristine copy was worth $175.00).

The bottom line was, the stained, creased and frayed piece of junk that had been foisted upon me was in the condition that's worse than terrible and beyond poor. That translates into being a worthless collectible. BUT...bear in mind, this replacement was in far better condition than my original. Nevertheless, because it might be the single item I possess the longest, (over fifty years), it has a sentimental value that can not be put in dollars and cents.

I know now that I ruined my original by writing all-over the inside.  My graffiti included; mustaches on the players, blackened teeth, arrows through heads, Martian-like antennas, antlers and eye patches. Then with the ignorance only found in the under ten-year old crowd, I misspelled (with horrid penmanship) such pre-profanity phrases as, "You stink," "Trade me to the miners" and "I smell reel bad."

During the course of 1984, I had a chance meeting with that friend.  I wasn't angry about the book but would have liked some clarification.  But he was messed-up and didn't seem lucid enough for even an informal interrogation about insignificant, old news.

Afterwards I realized that if he lost it, he went through great lengths to get a replacement, (another way to identify the hoax was that different players were featured).  That meant he found a similar book and tore off the cover.  But he over looked the fact that his was a revised mid-season edition and that my issue the original.

Now thirty years later as I confront my need to be assertive, I was watching "BRAD MELTZER'S LOST HISTORY," on TV.

BRAD MELTZER (1970-PRESENT) IS AN AUTHOR.  HE HAS HOSTED A SHOW CALLED, "DECODED." ITS 23-EPISODE RUN WAS BASED ON HIM SENDING A THREE-MEMBER TEAM, (A LAWYER, JOURNALIST AND AN ENGINEER) TRAIPSING ALL OVER THE WORLD TO DECIPHER THE GREAT CRYPTIC MYSTERIES IN HISTORY.

Now his latest "LOST HISTORY" show just finished its first ten episode season.  It deals with prominent historical items that have been lost or stolen.  Crazy as it seems, the famous flag raised by the firemen on 911 is gone!  The original airplane patent the Wright Brother's filed is missing and Adolph Hitler's personal photo album hasn't been seen in decades.  Even crazier, treasures like this have been stolen and mislaid while in the custody of famous museums, our government archives and private collections. I find it fascinating that Lost History viewers are encouraged (through cash rewards) to help recover these rapidly disappearing artifacts.  It would seem impossible but some have been recovered from people's basements, warehouses, at garage sales and online.

You never could expect something like the remains of  JFK's brain to go missing. Or that someone stole George Washington's false teeth.  Or unless a new copy of the Apollo-11 moon landing video is found, the public will only see the multi-generation copy of a copy of a copy we all know, (it seems that due to budget cuts, NASA believes the only known clear copy has been erased? But experts think there are more out there).

Yesterday, a segment of Lost History intrigued me.  It had to do with authenticating the original Derringer that John Wilkes Booth assassinated Abraham Lincoln with. An anonymous tip to the show, alleged that the gun on display in Washington DC's Ford's Theater was a fake.  That a perpetrator broke into the display case and did the old switcheroo.  It was fascinating to see the time consuming, costly process of proving the gun was in fact the original.

This switcheroo...made me think of my yearbook.  But I didn't act on my need to know the truth. Then kismet was on my side that same day. While on FACEBOOK, the icon popped up, "People You May Know."  And there was my Mets yearbook friend's sister's name.  With all the assertiveness I could master, I messaged her.  It was not only the right person but she remembered me.  She thought it would be a great idea to reach out to her brother.  He doesn't use FACEBOOK.  So I sent him an E-Mail.

I concentrated on getting my foot in the door. My E-Mail was simple.  Hey how you doing.  I've been here and there.  I'm married, my son Andrew is going to be twenty-one next months etc, etc.

The second part of my plan would bring up the yearbook mystery, in a second E-Mail. Unfortunately I was remembering my friend's personality from the mid-70's.  That person would have been proud to explain the genius behind every aspect of his forgery.  Instead I got a response that screams out, I've had a tough life and I don't want to share the gory details with you.  His actual note read:"I'm glad you're okay.  Please don't E-Mail me again."

Do I get credit for being assertive?  Maybe I'll call Phil :Dr. Phil" McGraw.  But he'll probably tell me all New Year's resolutions are a crock.