Thursday, February 8, 2007

ROXY'S BIRTHDAY

Our dog Roxy turned 2 on February 3, 2007.
She was primarily gotten for Andrew but after a short time, it became clear that she was mommy's girl. Nevertheless she is a great and lovable pooch for all of us.

Roxy's best trait is being a watchdog. She reacts to strange cars outside as well as strange people...apparently our street attracts a lot of strange people. Beyond that, she is willing to go to war to protect us. Although she is usually pretty smart, she tends to attack the person GETTING attacked. Because of that Andrew has learned to NOT call her when I pounce on him. Therefore due to this tendency away from genius, she has earned the nickname Blondie.

Our pup is also social. Her best friend up the street is Maddie (a corgi) but Roxy enjoys sniffing around with the other dogs in the neighborhood too. However, she is snobby to Mickey the yappy and hyper-active yorkie in the cul-du-sac. And it should be noted that she has singled out...and despises Ernie the mutt. Maybe she got the negative vibe from me because Ernie's owner is a ...xxxCENSOREDxxx...less than desirable neighbor.

Additionally, for those of you who have graced our threshold, you know how Roxy welcomes...if not over welcomes our guests. She really is friendly but there is one group, that she is completely prejudiced towards...and that's squirrels. She must have had some bad experiences with them before we adopted her because when she sees one trespass in her domain (our backyard) she goes crazy. I bet if a genie granted her one wish, it would be flight, so she could get up after them in the tree. As evidenced by her attack-mode reaction to Ernie, I can picture the squirrel fur flying...and it wouldn't be pretty.

Speaking of not being pretty, Roxy doesn't like going to the groomer and especially hates being bathed...getting wet is torture and the pet store staff have to muzzle her. Even halfway there in our car, she seems to sense where she's going and goes ballistic.
Now that Andrew and I both have our web-pages up, Roxy wants to get one going too. She aspires to be a syndicated Hollywood canine gossip columnist. Please make comments to me after you read her Top Ten list so I can relay them to her...
"THE POOP on CELEBRITY DOGS."

#10 RIN TIN TIN.........An inspiration to Evel Knievel, this dare-devil was labeled a loose cannon in "Variety" magazine. His last and nearly fatal stunt occurred in an alley behind a Bel-Air party, when, to impress a poodle, he leaped into a dumpster and ate chocolate. If it wasn't for a sharp EMT unit, his paw print wouldn't be forever enshrined in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater.

#9 SPUDS McKENZIE.......Actually a female dominatrix named Fifi. She made far more dog biscuits in that avocation that she did from her short stint in show-biz. Her clientele included Duke from the "BEVERLY HILLBILLIES" as well as Droopy and Underdog. It should be noted that she never did her own stunts, however on several occasions she had her directors, rolling over, begging and playing dead.

#8 SNOOPY.........Able to mark his territory from the sky, Snoopy actually WAS a German WWI ace. He came to the U. S. and got into silent movies after the war. When talkies came into vogue, he attended UCLA until he learned to get the ethnic accent out of his bark. Snoopy was still making Charlie Brown holiday specials until the age of 83, (which is impressive enough but in dog years, he was an incredible 581 years old).

#7 PLUTO.........It broke Walt Disney's heart to find out that Pluto was really from another planet. During the McCarthy era, Pluto was singled out by the House on Unamerican Activities and he never worked again-- until, he got massive plastic surgery, changed his schtick and re-emerged both literally and figuratively as Goofy.

#6 The CHIHUAHUA from TACO BELL......Regardless of the bad press and the urban legends that circulated for years about him, he is NOT an illegal alien and his real name isn't EL MATADOR. His name is Joe Bainbridge and he's originally from Levittown. In the late 50's, he was working as a barker at a carnival in San Clemente when he was "discovered." Now considered the Lon Chaney of dog actors, his mastery of make-up and his ability to do a wide range of voices got him work in difficult to cast roles as well as cartoons. He is best known from his recurring appearances on the "ED SULLIVAN SHOW" as the Italian mouse, Topo Giggio.

#5 OLD YELLER.......The fraternal twin of Mutley from the "DICK DASTARDLY SHOW." His one and only movie appearance was biographical. However, due to his sexually explicit lifestyle, the script bypassed the issue of his syphilis and was replaced with the more socially accepted, rabies. If you're observant, you'll notice his unsteady gait throughout the film due to him being blind. Up until his untimely death in 1961, he had scratched out his own niche doing voice-over work in Alpo commercials.

#4 McGRUFF THE CRIME DOG........A. K. A. the George Hamilton of canine thespians. McGruff never landed any significant roles but because of his startling good looks, he was quite a ladies man. However, now that he is well beyond retire age and still working...the starlet pups he takes home are shocked and gravely disappointed that he farts and can be incontinent during their especially short sessions in his crate.

#3 PEETIE from the LITTLE RASCALS...Wrongly hated kids due to a freak Frisbee injury that led to the loss of his tail. Although he thrived with the prosthetic one that he wore when making pictures, he never overcame the inner angst which led to drinking...toilet water. Despite sporadic psychological help, the TWA (Toilet Water Anonymous) meetings with Niel from "TOPPER," plus medication, Peetie's personal spiral decline was acute and well documented in the tabloids.

#2 MR. PEABODY........Had been with the K-9 unit assigned to LAX as a drug sniffing specialist. When he let Jay Ward and his 12 kilos of smack pass, the producer rewarded him with a pat on the head and a couple of cameos on the "ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE SHOW." From that success, he landed his own show with that kid Sherman. After living a secluded life with his wife Princess, Peabody was lured out of retirement in the mid-90's to star as Ren Hoek, in the highly acclaimed TV show "REN AND STIMPY." At the 2005 Oscar's, Peabody won a lifetime achievement award which centered on his 1980 appearance in "RAGING BULLWINKLE" as one of Jake LaMotta's wife's lovers.

AND AT NUMBER ONE-- LASSIE................Roxy's one word for her is, "BITCH'
Next time you're in the neighborhood, feel free to stop by and wish Roxy a belated happy birthday.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow Roxy did some major research on celebrity dogs and her TOP TEN was an excellent choice. Now that we know all about her, she can replace any of them. However, she should watch her Lassie referrences...that was my favorite show.

Pam