Friday, March 16, 2007


Remember the two and a half star movie from 1972 with Carol Burnett and Walter Matthau called, "PETE 'n' TILLIE?"

The film starts off as a comedy and ends up as a melodrama. Towards the beginning, one of the funny parts was, Walter Matthau getting annoyed by a neighbor's continuous gas mileage boasting. To thwart the bore, Matthau starts a campaign of siphoning this man's gas at night.
When the neighbor stops bragging, Matthau has to fight off the laughter when he asks, "So how's your gas mileage?"

I am hoping that something like that is what is happening to me.

At the end of January, we had a dusting of snow. It had been such a mild winter that my snow shovel was still in the shed. Our barn-style shed is in the furthest corner of our yard and is about a hundred feet from our Florida room. When I got to the shed, the double doors were improperly shut. The left door is equipped with two pegs on the inside that get set into holes (one in the floor and another on the top of the door jamb) that anchor it down and align it to the right door. Because the left door wasn't in place, the doors were shut but weren't closed enough to prevent small woodland creatures from getting in.

I looked inside and didn't find any unwanted furry guests or anything out of place. I shut the door properly and made a mental note to discuss this with Andrew because he doesn't always shut the door the right way...but I forgot.

Last week I let the dog out back and noticed that the doors to the shed weren't laying flush. I investigated and found that the doors had again been opened and improperly closed. I made a closer examination inside and was convinced that none of our crap seemed moved or tampered with and I concluded that NO ONE (SUCH AS A HOMELESS PERSON) WAS HOPPING OUR FENCE , BREAKING INTO THE SHED AND SLEEPING THERE ! (It should also be noted, that unless you were taking something big out or putting something big in, there is no reason to open the left door).

I thought this was odd, because at this time of year, there really isn't any reason for any of us to be using the shed. In any event I asked both Andrew and Sue, and neither of them had opened it for months. So, being the pro-active Sherlock Holmes-type that I am, in addition to closing the doors, this time I locked them too.

The day before Andrew's Bar Mitzvah with so much to do and so little time, I made the mistake of looking at the shed. From the distance, it was hard to tell whether the doors were shut or not. I took the dog for protection, (you may recall that when Roxy sees someone getting attacked, she doesn't attack the assailant, she attacks the victim). Anyway to my surprise, if not horror, the doors were pulled out of their mooring but remained locked. I opened the doors, checked inside and re-locked the door. I even pulled with all my might and I'm telling you, those doors WON'T budge.

I'm NOT testing you, this isn't a riddle, a joke or a puzzle...this is real. I've ruled out an alien presence although the Sci-Fi Network had a two-hour documentary about something oddly similar occurring at the shed outside the Sphinx in 1937. But in that case, all the sand around the Sphinx was displaced and re-shaped in the Sci-Fi Network's logo.

I'm hoping its just a Pre-April Fools Day prank by my strange neighbor. I'm sure he's not clever enough to pull it but you may recall that he has built a twig facsimile of the the Great Wall of China between our properties, (its still there if you want to check it out). Also, because of our crazy hours, he'd never know when would it be safe for him to do it.

In any case, if this mystery persists, I'll have to get surveillance cameras put in, other than guys have any suggestions?

No comments: