Monday, July 9, 2007


I'm not only a great uncle but now I'm a great-uncle. My niece Allison with a noteworthy assist from her husband Tanah gave birth to Daniel Noah earlier today. Both mother and son are doing well and apparently dad is expected to make a full recovery from his swooning incident.

In keeping with the "Child" theme, I went to two lavish backyard parties this week. Both offered liquor to its guests and both used "ADULTS ONLY" signs to keep the kids away from it.

I used this an an opportunity to further mold my thirteen year-old scion with the wisdom of my experiences. Underage drinking I told him, is one of the many treacherous "peer group pressure" forks in the road of life. After the usual "Yeah, yeah yeahs," and a couple of "I know alreadys," my point was beautifully illustrated by a far-from happy drunk. She was kind enough to blither incoherently, fall and pass-out. This brief scene laid an important foundation and easily replaced the volumes of lectures school or anyone else could give him.

Such demonstrations rarely pop-up at an opportune moment. After all, parenthood is a lot like virus protection for your computer. As quickly as the anti-virus company comes up with new updates to fight-off invasions on our hard-drives, hackers come-up with more sophisticated schemes to get in.

Friends of MGTP told me...that during the winter, their son (17) and his friends masked their drinking and pot smoking with cigars. These kids were screened and interviewed on the way in, yet the contraband was still smuggled in. By luck, this potentially volatile situation was diffused...however it did bring on quite a domestic upheaval. Eventually, their boy understood his parents' responsibility on underage drinking in their home.

Not everyone is so lucky. Last month former NFL quarterback Jack Trudeau had a graduation party at his house for his daughter. Although no liquor was being served, Trudeau had all the kids sign-in and leave their car keys with him. When the party sprouted to outside, a complaining neighbor phoned the police.

Trudeau had a less than stellar football career but in his hometown, he is a celebrity. The officers that responded apologized for the intrusion and further apologized because they were required to randomly check kids with a breathalyzer. Trudeau confidently obliged and eight of them had alcohol in their system. Jack Trudeau now has felony charges pending on him.

So you can never be too safe. It doesn't matter how old your kids always have to stay on your guard. Unless your kid was born today... then YOU and only YOU get the day off.

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