MY PAINFUL ELECTION DAY

If you are as old as I am, you'd know the phrase; "DON'T BLAME ME, I VOTED FOR McGOVERN," referred to President Richard Nixon's unpopularity. With that in mind, I envision savvy speculators to be investing in tee-shirts, bumper stickers etc bearing that sentiment with both Obama and McCain on them, (to prove my conviction to political correctness, kindly disregard the order of the candidate's names).

Tomorrow, I'm facing some dental surgery. Its an inconvenient, uncomfortable and painful ordeal but, a necessary evil...that as an adult...whether I want to or not...must be faced. Similarly tomorrow, I (we) have the rare once in four-year privilege of voting for president...which in this case could be also inconvenient, uncomfortable and painful.

This is the first presidential election that my son Andrew and I are discussing the important issues of the day. We compare McCain and Obama as best we can and try to make a salient decision on who serves our (the nation's) needs best. But like a sick joke, the race for head-honcho is difficult because both candidates are equally distasteful .

I wish there was a clear-cut choice because I try to instill in my son the concept of decisiveness but I can't make up my mind. Here we are on the eve of this opportunity to elect the leader (commander and chief) of our great county, the single most influential individual on the planet and we are stuck with a coin-flip, on a pair of duds. I hate the idea that the election has been reduced to choosing the lesser of two evils. Even worse, many people are being swayed by the prospect of which vice-presidential candidate would make the better executive if the goop ever hit the fan.

In this regard, Andrew, in an attempt to bridge yesterday's ridiculousness of Halloween with tomorrow's sublime nature of Election Day...has uniquely combined his decisive endorsement with a fashion statement--

WOULDN'T YOU AGREE, SARAH PALIN, EMBELLISHED WITH JUST A COUPLE OF SWEAT SOCKS, LOOKS RATHER BUSTY IN PERSON

THE MAIN ISSUES ON PALIN'S CHEST ARE; I BRAKE FOR MOOSE, I CAN SEE RUSSIA FROM MY HOUSE, I'M NOT TINA FEY and LOVE, PEACE & HOCKEY MOMS

CAUGHT IN A CANDID MOMENT BY THE PAPARAZZI, PALIN DISCUSSES HER "OPEN-DOOR" POLICY WITH THE FIRST DUDE.

ON HER WAY OUT, PALIN PROMISED ALASKAN UGGS IN EVERY CLOSET FOR THE WOMEN AND BUNS OF STEEL IN THE WHITE HOUSE FOR EVERY MAN.

Honestly, I tried to persuade him to dress as Joe Biden but alas, despite my homophobia, Andrew was adamant and decisively stuck to his choice for vice president. Hopefully, there aren't any lingering yearnings here that need to be addressed.

Personally, between the cross-dressing and the election, I might be better served to spend ALL of tomorrow with the dentist...and go with anesthetics.